Gill Moakes 0:00
Hi, everyone, welcome back. Oh, my goodness, are you in for a treat today? So today I am joined by do Charles, I'm literally so excited for this episode. Jude is a filmmaker, the last 15 years he's been making documentaries for entrepreneurs. So he's absolutely amazing. I can't wait for you to listen in on our conversation. As Jude said to me afterwards, you know, there's nothing surface level about me, I said, because I'd said, this conversation was just so deep. It was such a great conversation, Jude. He's the author of dramatic demonstration, which is an amazing book. It's a roadmap that teaches you how to kind of dig deep, and find those compelling stories that no one else knows. And then leverage those to help you grow your business. So we all know how important storytelling is. To be able to really show our vulnerability really connect with our clients, our audiences. And Jude is just the absolute master of this. Our conversation today is all around relentless courage. At the end of the conversation, I felt like I'd been coached by Jude, it was such a deep conversation full of aha moments for me. And I just know you're going to love it. So please have a listen. I'll pop the links for how you can reach out to Jude in the show notes, of course. And remember to share this episode with anyone else who you think would benefit from Jude's words of wisdom. Let's jump in. Welcome, welcome to the heads together Podcast. I'm Gill Moakes. And I am obsessed with cutting through the noise when it comes to growing your business each week via intimate coaching conversations and inspirational stories. I share what it really takes to get the results you want, in a way that feels right to you. I am all about attracting higher ticket opportunities, building authentic relationships, and creating the abundant full fat version of your dream business. I mean, how many of us have even away creating a light version of what we really want? The thing is, I honestly believe when you're outstanding at what you do, there is no limit to what you can achieve. So are you ready to put our heads together and make it happen? Let's go.
Jude, welcome. Thank you for joining me.
Jude Charles 3:02
Gill, thank you for having me. I am looking forward to our conversation today. I'm also looking forward to sending you warmer weather. I know you're right outside of London, and I'm in Florida, but it is much warmer weather here. I'm hoping that I can send you that virtually as well.
Gill Moakes 3:17
We'd appreciate that over here. We need it, please. I was just telling Jude, before we hit record that I've been doing my open water swimming in about three degrees. So that's just about as far removed as from Florida as you can possibly get I think.
Jude Charles 3:35
Absolutely, absolutely.
Gill Moakes 3:37
So Jude, honestly, I'm so excited to have you with me today. For those of you listening, Jude is a filmmaker who works with entrepreneurs creating amazing documentaries. Jude, can you tell us a little bit just to set the scene a bit around what you do with the clients you work with?
Jude Charles 3:55
If you've ever read a biography, write a book on an entrepreneurs life. Let's take Bob Iger who used to run Walt Disney World, the company. What I am doing is bringing to life through visual format through a film. I'm bringing that biography to life through a documentary. And so I will follow an entrepreneur for about six months, sometimes a year film behind the scenes of their life at work their life at home as a parent or as a spouse. And then I packaged that up into either a three part or a six part documentary series. Why? So that? When you first hear about that entrepreneur, your invitation or your impression of that person is an invitation to watch behind the scenes of their life to watch behind the scenes of how they show up in life so that you feel more connected. That's what I get to do every single morning. I've been doing that For 15 years, every morning, I wake up and I am able to bring these stories to life. And sometimes I even help people craft their stories that isn't in visual format. When they're going to speak on a podcast or speak on stage, I help them craft their story as well for that, but that is what I've been able to do the last 15 years and I love it.
Gill Moakes 5:19
That's amazing. Why is it important that entrepreneurs work out how to tell their story. And, you know, with your help do it so well. You know, why? Why is that important, though,
Jude Charles 5:36
When we first meet someone, the, especially if it's a client to work with? The question on their mind, is why should I do business with you? But let's simplify that. The question really is why you? In my opinion, the only way to answer that question of why you is through storytelling, why through storytelling, because no one can duplicate your story, they can duplicate the thing that you do, let's say hypothetically, you're a copywriter, or you're an interior designer. They can copy that, but they can't copy your story. For example. I mentioned I'm in video production. My story begins at 17 years old, I sat in a TV production classroom on May 4 2006. And my teacher, Mrs. Donnelly, said to me, Jude, you're really really talented at Video Production, you should start a business. I'm the youngest of 10 children. My father was a construction worker, my mom worked at a cheer factory. So no one in my family had been an entrepreneur, I had no idea what it meant to be an entrepreneur. But the following day, May 5 2006, Mrs. Donnelly comes into the classroom, she hands me a yellow envelope. And inside of this yellow envelope, was my first set of business cards. And for those watching the video, I still have that business card till this day.
Gill Moakes 6:54
That's amazing, right? Mrs. Donnelly? Watching what a woman.
Jude Charles 7:03
No one can duplicate that story, though. Right? 17 years old, starting a business having the courage to start a business at 17 when no one else around me was an entrepreneur. You can't duplicate that. And so that's why I think storytelling is important, is because when you're thinking about how do I get this person's attention, how do I stand out? It is through the stories it is through the experiences is through the journey that you have taken in life, that helps someone understand who you really are. Right?
Gill Moakes 7:35
I think we talk a lot as entrepreneurs about a USP, don't we, and your own story is your ultimate USP. And I think sometimes when people are scared to be open, and vulnerable, which you kind of need to be to tell your real story. They really miss a trick on figuring out what their USP is. For you, I know, I know that like helping people find courage is a huge part of your mission. How did it entwined together for you, the making of the films, and this mission to help entrepreneurs really have relentless coverage to use your words, which I just love? You know, how did that come about that that became part of the mission.
Jude Charles 8:37
I noticed no matter what entrepreneur I was working with, if they had just started their business, or if they were at a very high level running a big corporation. Vulnerability is hard. And you mentioned that right? Like it's hard to be vulnerable. I think that is a human trait that we are afraid to be vulnerable. And I noticed that I would have to coach my clients sometimes through their own story and say, Hey, this is important to tell you shouldn't be hiding behind this door, you shouldn't be trying to put this cover up the story and not tell the whole truth about it. And so I realised the more and more this was happening, the more and more I would have to start my meetings and start my initial conversations around. Hey, we're going to get really deep. I'm going to ask you questions you probably haven't been asked before. But you got to lean in and have courage to be able to tell me the truth. Because that's what I'm searching for. Ultimately, I feel like I often say I'm a detective. I'm searching for the truth I'm searching for not just the great soundbite, but I'm searching for what is the truth. This moment in time that you're telling me about when you're telling me a story. That's what it is a moment in time. What's the truth?
Gill Moakes 9:54
Do you feel like there's a sixth sense that you've developed for when you are talking to an entrepreneur, just not quite getting to that truth nugget, you know?
Jude Charles 10:09
Yeah, for sure. I think it's a sixth sense. I remember sitting in a meeting with a client. And her name is Darnell Jovi Harmon and she is a business coach. And I remember her telling me a story about wanting to have children, and this desire to have children. And the more and more I pressed, she started to tell me the truth about why she wanted to have children and there's a story that she tells about when she was born, or when her mother was pregnant with her with Darnielle. Her mother didn't even realise she was pregnant. And when she went to go to the doctor, she thought she was just having stomach pains. And the doctor said to the how, how? How far along are you said far along with? What are you talking about? And you said, your six month you're pregnant? Oh, wow. And she was petrified because her mother had been actually using drugs while she was pregnant, but didn't know she was pregnant. And so the doctor said, Look, if you've been using drugs, it's probably best to terminate this pregnancy because this child is going to be born with defects that it's probably going to be a lot for you. Well, her mother decided to go through Daniela was born. And Daniela is now 46 years old, has no defects. Everything is fine with her right. And so her desire to have children is for those is understanding that her life is a gift. And she'd like to be able to share that gift not just with her clients and friends, but also with another life like the legacy that she will leave behind. That only happens me discovering that story only happens when I realise okay, there's something here that she's not uncovering. I have to dig deeper, I have to ask more questions. And it's sometimes it's as small as the way the person fidgets in their seat. Sometimes it's, it's it's them not making eye contact as they're telling you a story because they're, you know, there's parts of it that they are hiding from. And yet it's a sixth sense, I think it's understanding human psychology. And I just, again, I'm a detective. So I'm gonna dig and dig and dig until I get to the core because that core is what I want to show other people. When we talk about connection and intertwining, it's hard to break A three stamp strain cord. But your story is what holds that st three strand cord together. And I am looking to get to the truth of that story so that when other people hear about who you are, you share your story. And they're connected through this story that it won't be easily broken. And now this person is bonded to you for life. That is what I desire. But it takes courage. It takes that vulnerability to even get to that point.
Gill Moakes 12:58
Yeah, absolutely. I think you said it so well. Vulnerability is hard. I can remember myself when I started my business, I almost I think I actually blocked some of the people I knew from social media because I was embarrassed for them to see this different direction that my my business was taking or my career was taking, you know, so that fear of visibility sometimes can be really hard. And then layer on top of that sharing something that maybe you or you feel guilty about embarrassed about it if you introduce in any of those sorts of emotions so hard.
Jude Charles 13:45
Yeah, it's hard. But what I realise is that the more vulnerable you are, the more connected people feel to you. Yeah. In 2020, I woke up and could not physically move. October 10 2020 I'll never forget the day. And I had no idea what was happening, but I felt paralysed for about two hours. And when I finally got out of bed two hours later, ended up calling a therapist, and I was officially diagnosed with burnout. Wow, I share that story. Because ever since as I have been going through this journey, it's now to 2022 as we were recording this, so two years later, I'm still going through this journey. But I've been very vocal about burnout. And it's hard to do because it's it's not something I'm used to I don't know, I didn't know what burnout was. I didn't realise I had been through it before. And the more I started sharing about it, the more people would come up to me and say oh my gosh, I didn't realise I was going through burnout either. Or, oh my gosh, your story freed me and helping me understand what I'm really going through. Yes, it's hard to be vulnerable. But it's also freeing to know you're helping someone else. Right? Someone else who may not, they're going through a similar journey as similar struggle. And now that you shared, they have a connection with you that goes beyond business that goes beyond something that you could buy from, from the other person. And the beginning of this podcast, I said, the question is, why should I do business with you? Or if we simplified it, why you will, why you is because of your story, why you is because of this moment in time that you're being vulnerable about that you have the courage to be vulnerable about, and you realise, when you have that courage, you lean into it, you step into it, people feel more connected to you. Again, that's the benefit of being vulnerable. That's the benefit of having courage is that now you stand out, you are borrowing space in this person's mind in a way that no one else can do.
Gill Moakes 16:01
Oh, I love that you're borrowing space in that person's mind. And it absolutely isn't away. No one else can do. That. I really liked that. I will remember that. For sure. That's, yeah, yeah. The biggie. Do you think I sometimes feel as well that when you when you do master be vulnerable, especially with someone like you to help bring that out? It almost can be quite addictive. I can't imagine now, going back to the person who was scared to share things that are embarrassing things that I'm not sure about. I am admitting when I don't know the answer to something. You know, all of those kinds of things. I can't imagine now going back to being too scared to do that. But I really, really was. So how do you help someone have the courage to get vulnerable?
Jude Charles 17:06
Having the courage starts with taking the first step. And oftentimes, that first step is not going on stage to tell your story. Sometimes that first step is one on one telling that story to another friend. I remember telling a story on a podcast once a about my car being repossessed twice. That's, that's a story I had never really shared to share to other close friends before. But I shared it on a podcast one on one. And then I share that podcast to my social media. And my best friend reached out to me to say, oh my gosh, I never knew that story about you. Now, we had been best friends at that point, maybe 20 plus years. Since we were children. He said, I never knew that story about you. Well, I shared it one on one with a podcast host because I wanted to see how it connects with podcasts. Now the beauty of doing podcasts is you could tell the podcast those afterwards. Hey, you know what, I actually don't want to share that. So we can you edit that? Oh, yeah. But I shared it. I leaned into it, and I shared it. And then it gets shared with many other people. And now people are responding. But it starts with that first step of sharing it with one person and seeing how that one person responds to the story. When you realise, oh my gosh, okay, I told the story, I didn't die. Now this person now, you know, I could share it with more with other people. That's what takes the courage. It's just taking the first step. Oftentimes, we hear of courage, like the entrepreneur who did this big thing and they were able to overcome. But that started with the first step. The first step sometimes is just deciding, okay, I'm going to tell this story to one person. When you tell when you're thinking, if you're gonna tell the story to one person that's much smaller than I have to get on stage in front of 100 people 1000 people to tell this story. So I think oftentimes, I will say to the entrepreneur, hey, I think you should really share the story I get, you're a little uncomfortable with it. But I want you to tell your best friend about it. You know, just call them because you normally would call them you normally would text them and just tell them the story and see how they respond to it. What you realise is when that person responds, they don't actually judge you. They actually oh my gosh, tell me more. And it's that oh my gosh, tell me more that begins to borrow space in someone's mind. That's what helps you to stand out. When I first started my business I wouldn't tell the story of Mrs. Donnelly giving me the business cards in the beginning. But just like the reaction you had that me telling you about Mrs. Donnelly, you're like, oh my gosh, like she is amazing, right? Like and they want to hear more about that. Because it's fascinating. I didn't have the courage initially to tell that story cuz I just didn't think it was important. I was just like, okay, great big deal. She gave me business.
Gill Moakes 19:47
That's a big one as well. Things that we don't think are important, but other people will find captivating.
Jude Charles 19:55
Yes, we have a way of downplaying our own Stories. We either hide from the story because we're afraid to be judged or the other thing is we downplay. And the reason we downplay is because we don't even take it as something big. Like I just said, Mrs. Donnelly gave me business cards big deal. It's like, no, it is a big deal because no teacher had ever done that up until that point. Right? I was in high school, I was 17. Yeah. And no teacher had taken such an interest in me to say, No, I think I believe in you so much, I'm going to go out and buy business cards for you. Even your parents don't do that. Sometimes when you have a crazy idea to start a business.
Gill Moakes 20:34
Right, I was just thinking that I was thinking even you're, in fact, quite often the opposite. You know, the people who love you will, will surround you with the, it's good to have big dreams. But you know, let's have a backup plan. You know, for so for a teacher at school, to be that invested that kind of that determined to give you self belief, because that's what she was doing, wasn't she by giving you those cards? You know what a woman.
Jude Charles 21:06
They gave me, yeah, she gave me the belief. Because I didn't believe I could start a business again. I had no one around me. Who were entrepreneurs. So for me to have this crazy idea to start a business like nah, that's not what I'm gonna do. I'm the youngest of 10, everybody else went to college, I need to go to college to first before I ever started business. This is Donnelly, didn't believe that. And because she handed me business cards, it was now a belief that I held I borrowed her belief. And I held on to it. Yeah, I think the same thing happens with courage. Right? When you tell someone your story, and they respond, they lean into it. Their curiosity, they're intrigued by your story. You borrow that now? And as like, Ooh, okay. They liked the story. What is it that you like about this story? Right, like asking more questions or having more conversations around it that helps you get more comfortable sharing the story. It doesn't mean you go from one person to 100. Maybe you tell another person easily how they respond. Now you're building up proof that, okay, people really liked this story. Maybe I should start start sharing it more. My best friend that I was talking about earlier, we were actually having a phone conversation recently. And he he has gone through the first quarter of the year, he went through a moment of silence. And what that means is that he didn't listen to any podcasts. He didn't watch any YouTube videos. He didn't. He just wanted to the main point was how, what is it that I think, because oftentimes, we can hear a lot of noise, and we have other people in our head, but he needed to hear what is he think. And he started his real estate business in 2018, has had its ups and downs. And he was saying to me how he wanted to share his story, but he just felt like it wasn't time yet. And I'm like, you have a story. You have two stories. As a matter of fact, you've already I made a joke to him that we need to start recording our conversation, because I think you think the story needs to be perfect, but you just told me the story. And I was interested by the story. Like that's all you all you needed was to get started, and you just did it. Right. And I think oftentimes that is what stops entrepreneurs is like we take for granted that our story is actually intriguing. Our story is actually something that other people want to hear about. But I always keep coming back to this point, your story is what helps you stand out the experience that he had, taking three months off from not listening to anything, is a unique experience is not something that other people have done. Don't take that for granted. Go out and start sharing that story.
Gill Moakes 23:43
Definitely definitely, I could not. And I also think it was a super smart thing that he did. I have conversation with my clients quite often about kind of that balance between consumption and production. And when it gets out of line and you're consuming, consuming, consuming all the time, original ideas can't break through. They're literally smothered by the consumption. Right, so, yeah.
Jude Charles 24:09
Yes, mother, mother, by the noise smothered by the constant pulling and pushing. Depending on what you're listening to. Right, there's this constant pulling and pushing, pulling and pushing, pulling and pushing. It's telling you to go in one direction but then it's telling you know you that direction is wrong so go back in the other direction and it's like, unless you subtract the noise unless you and that takes courage in itself to subtracting the noise why we listened to so much as FOMO Fear Of Missing Out we felt like if we don't listen to this new podcasts if we don't listen to this new YouTube show, if we don't watch the the hot Netflix show that's out that everybody's talking about we will be missing out.
Gill Moakes 24:57
We'll be left out of the conversation. Right.
Jude Charles 25:00
Left out of the conversation. There's another cost to that, though being left out of the conversation five years later, when you're the only one who hasn't done anything in your group of friends, because you're consuming so much. I, we talked about this off air. But I have this analogy that I've done when I speak and I use a Jenga piece because we've all played Jenga Jenga is a very popular game. And in Jenga, the whole idea is that you remove pieces and put it back on top to, to make sure that the piece doesn't fall, if whoever makes the piece fall is the person that lost the game. Well, in my illustration with Jenga, I remove the piece, but I don't put it back on top. And what you realise is, for every piece that you remove, the structure still stands, it's still holding up. You don't need to be a part of every conversation. Because if you're trying to be a part of every conversation, your structure will not hold up, it'll be five years later, all your friends will have accomplished their goals, they will have done the things that they dreamed about. And you will be left still trying to hold on to the full Jenga set, the full 54 pieces. My opinion is you remove at least 20 of those pieces. And you realise oh my gosh, it's still standing. And when you realise that there's no reason to feel like you're missing out, all the information that you want to take in right now will still be there.
Gill Moakes 26:33
It's after you've accomplished your goal analogy. I, as you're saying it, I'm thinking it applies so perfectly as well to marketing strategies. You know, I see clients all the time thinking they have to be on every social media platform, they have to do email marketing, networking, LinkedIn, it's overwhelming. It's too noisy, they end up not doing anything well, because they're stretched so thin. And it's a perfect analogy for that as well.
Jude Charles 27:04
Yeah, absolutely. It's, it's it is. It takes courage to not do what everyone else is doing. It really takes courage to believe in yourself to believe that. I don't need social media to run this business, if that's your story, if that's your journey, everybody has a different journey, you have to decide what that is. But it takes the courage to stand firm in that to say, You know what, this isn't the best use of my time. I have built this business for the last 15 years on the backbone of word of mouth. I have not used social media to gain business. Some will say and it is true social media works. But it's not the way that I choose to spend my time. Right to at least the game business. Now I do spend time on social media on Twitter. But it's not to gain business. It is just a way for me to share some of what I'm doing. But I do not. I do not think to myself, if I don't post today, then someone else won't find me in order to gain business. It is it takes courage to do that. Because again, you're getting so much noise to know you should be on social, you should be on social, you're missing out on money, you're missing out on money. And it's just not beneficial to where you're going in your life. We all get to choose the game that we play. There's a quote that I love by Henry Ford. It says whether you believe you can or you believe you can't. You're right.
Gill Moakes 28:33
Yep, absolutely. I love that.
Jude Charles 28:35
You get to choose what you believe in. Yeah, yeah, you get to choose what you believe in. And I just, I think it's important that we, we consider that more.
Gill Moakes 28:44
I think you're right. I think it ties in with courage too. Because you made such a good point earlier about doing the courageous thing. It's not always doing the huge thing. It's making a choice to do something once that scares you, and then exercising that like a muscle afterwards, right.
Jude Charles 29:08
The very first time I spoke on stage, to a crowd of about 200 people I was nervous out of my mind. I did not know it was going to be a big stage. I had been invited to speak at the copywriter club in real life in Brooklyn, New York. And I did not know it was going to be a big stage that I went to the event the year prior to it and it was only 50 people there were all this year that I got invited when I went to go for soundcheck and I saw the amount of chairs and I saw the lights and I saw the mic. I was just like, oh, this is much bigger than I imagined. I went back to my hotel room I was pacing back and forth and I was just so worried about how it would go. Well, what I decided to do is that I recorded my speech my full 30 minute speech, I recorded it on my cell phone. transfer that to iTunes And then as I slept, I played the recording in my ear throughout the night it played on repeat as I slept. Because I needed the confidence to be able to not talk myself out of not being on stage, any of the confidence I needed to trick my mind into believing, hey, you slept. It's an it's embedded in your mind. There's no reason to be scared, just get up on stage, and do the speech that you actually recorded already. Already. You've done it once already. Yeah, exactly. The courage sometimes isn't just believing in you've done it all ready? Maybe you didn't do it in the exact same way. Right? Let's say if we're going after a client, and this is a new industry, where in what have you convinced me to work with you before, like you've got friends. So you've convinced friends that to work with you, they like you, they hang out with you. It's no different than when you're going to hang out with a client, you just so happen to be providing a service or, you know, giving them inviting them to buy a product. But you've done it before, and sometimes that it takes those little things that trick our mind. But that takes courage to it's like, I have the fear. But I'm going to lean into this. And I'm going to remind myself that I've done it before. The wrap up the story with speaking on stage in front of 200 people, I did do it, people loved it. The organisers loved it so much that I had been speaking at that event for four years. That's, that's all it takes is the first step, believing in yourself saying I'm scared, but I'm going to do it anyway. Yes. And the more that you do that, that's what builds up courage. Courage is a muscle. I completely agree. If we don't, if we don't get out of bed every morning, if we don't stretch our legs, if we don't use our arms, there's atrophy, right? The muscle dies. It's the same thing with courage every time you shrink yourself and you say no, I can't do this, or No, I won't do this. Courage dies, we need to build it every single morning. It took courage for me to get on here with YuGiOh to have these conversations and be vulnerable. But it does everything.
Gill Moakes 32:26
It takes courage for everyone. And I think that's that's an interesting one, isn't it actually, because what people sometimes see packaged on the outside, it's it's no reflection of what courage it took to get there. The vulnerability had to show to make progress. You know, I think there's a disconnect sometimes between what people look on or aspire to, and the reality of what it took for the person who has that, who is at that point that you want to be at or something like that, you know, and I think you made such a good point. It's like, often it is a case of stopping and saying to yourself that you've done that you know how to do this. And I think there's another way of looking at that as well, which is, if it's a really big dream that you've been told is unrealistic. We all get that, don't we as we're growing up, I mean, you thank goodness, you had that wonderful teacher, a lot of us didn't have that wonderful teacher. And we're told that, you know, being an alpaca farmers, I'm realistic. I mean, you know, some people do it. But here's the thing. I always say to clients, you know, however big your goal is, however big your dream is, if one other human being has ever accomplished it, then if you want to channel what it would take to get there and do it, you can do it too. It means it's not an impossibility. Whether that's climbing Everest, whether it's whatever it is, it's if if one person has done it before, sometimes even if one person hasn't, but a lot of it is choosing yourself, isn't it for that success and that's what takes the courage I think.
Jude Charles 34:27
A lot of it is giving yourself permission to believe in us. I am enough you often have to repeat that to yourself in order to believe that I am enough even if it hasn't been done before. I am the person who was enough to make it the first time that it's happened I am enough We don't get that message every single day, especially if you're on social media every single day. Again, there's that push and pull, pull will go in this direction, because you're not doing it right, no push go in this direction, because you're not doing it right, no go this way. I am enough who I am today, who I am right now is enough to get me to my goal. I don't need one more extra thing. One more extra course. One more extra podcast, one more extra, anything. I am enough. And I want to let that sink in for your audience. Because I think even myself, when I am getting ready to do something that I've probably never done before, or when I get really nervous, you slow down. You remind yourself I am enough. 15 years later, I still have to remind myself that when I went through burnout in 2020, in this moment where I begin to look at the thing that I do as my identity had to pull that back and say no, just because I'm slowing down just because I'm taking a break just it doesn't mean that I am any less than my systems and processes may have to change the way I was working may have to change but I am enough. Nothing more, nothing less. The only thing that changes is I might get 1% better, I'm improving 1%. That's it. But who I am today where I am today is enough to get me where I want to go.
Gill Moakes 36:49
God I love that, that is so powerful. Do you think? Do you think it's hard for some people to believe it? So I think there's a disconnect isn't there between saying it and really believing it? How do you think? What are the what's in your toolbox? For really moving into believing that?
Jude Charles 37:23
God, that's an amazing question. Because the one thing I look at every morning, if I decide to journal that morning, or if again, I'm getting ready to go on a podcast, I have this folder in my phone, I have an iPhone, and in my photos, our photo album is a folder called Confidence folder. And over time, what I have done is I've taken screenshots of comments, someone left on, let's say, I got a testimonial from a client. I screenshot it put it in that confidence folder. Let's say I have pictures of me speaking on stage, put it in the confidence folder. Let's say it is I could actually look through the confidence folder. Now let's look at what's in there. Or something as we're recording this. I'll do it. I'll do it in real time. Let's say oh, it's comments from this was one comment I really loved. It's from a documentary that I did. And this guy doesn't know me. But he left a comment on the video and he said this is like the last dance, which is a documentary series from Michael Jordan. He says this is like the last dance but for copywriters. And in this case, the greatest of all time has not retired yet. So it was a documentary that I had done for a copywriter. Love it I had done for a copywriter. And he was he's a big time copywriter and this person left a comment about that right? But why does he leave that comment because of something that I created for the client? Right? So I look at them every morning. Because again, I didn't always believe in myself. Like I had to borrow the belief of Mrs. Donnelly believing in me. And then like I said, courage is something that's a muscle, you have to exercise it every day. And there was a point in my life where I realised my confidence was waning. And it's like, okay, maybe I don't believe in myself right now. But I've done it before. How do I remind myself that I've done it before, I'm a visual person. So I created a confidence folder that reminds me, even on those days where I'm feeling low, even on those days that I have impostor syndrome. I go to this folder, and I'm like, Nope, that's not true. Is it true? That's a question that coaches always like to ask, is there any evidence to support this? You believe you're not enough or you believe you can't do this thing? Because you haven't done it before? Is there any evidence to support that? Well, let's look at the confidence folder. Nope, no evidence to support that only evidence to support that in the confidence folder is the idea that I've created documentary series that other people love to watch that other people feel like it's so great that it's on the level of Michael Jordan's Docu series, The Last Dance. That's the truth that I that's the evidence. Yeah. For a prosecutor when they go to a court to prove that someone committed a crime, they have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt, which means it has to be enough evidence. burden of proof is called the burden of proof, there has to be enough evidence to prove that this is true. Well, after years of doing this confidence folder, there's enough evidence to prove that it is true that I've done it before and prove that I am enough. Even if I decide to switch industries, if I decide to switch my career, you've done it before you've been successful before whatever success means to you, but you've done it before. People like which you have created before, or people liked the product that you have sold before. Do it again. Do it again. And so that's the toolbox that I have the east the simplest thing that I think anybody can do. But literally every single day like I did a podcast yesterday, as a matter of fact, and this is the latest one that's in my confidence folder. It said the podcast was posted on Twitter. He said such an incredible valuable episode with Jude Charles tonight. First time that we've really dove into technique, and musicality and story structure on the show. And you nailed it. In case you missed it. The replay will be live tomorrow. This was an excellent episode. Thanks, Jude. So if I had never, let's say your number two of podcasts that I've been on, right, let's just say I did one last night for the very first time in my life. That is proof that is evidence that not only your podcast host liked it, he liked it so much to share it with his audience to say, this was an amazing episode that'll be out tomorrow.
Gill Moakes 41:46
I love that toolbox. I love that it is something so specific that you can draw on whenever you need to. Because here's the thing, sometimes, the negative thoughts aren't completely unfounded. Sometimes we get a bad review. Sometimes we get a one meme comment on social media. And we will fixate on that out of all proportion. Forgetting all of the hundreds of wonderful pieces of feedback we've had will allow that one piece of negativity to become quite deafening. So I love the thought of having this confidence folder that you can tap into, to actually just get bit back a bit of balance if something like that does trigger you. Yeah, I love that.
Jude Charles 42:38
Yeah, it's balance. It's all about balance. It is easy. It is easy to fall into the negativity of life. But you have to drown out the noise and you drown out the noise with believing in yourself. If you're a parent, and you give this one bad day where your child is like you're the worst parent in the world, you fixate on that. But you don't think about every morning when the child is fed. Every morning that child is bathed every morning that the child is actually happier running around the playground because you took them to the playground. Instead you fixate on the moment that they told you hear their worst parent ever. And it does take rehearsal it does take reminding yourself but sometimes it's not always easy to go into your brain and in your mind and say no, I'm a good parent, you need the visual proof. You need that dramatic demonstration thing. But this is not true. And again, it's easy to fall into negativity and I honestly I just use what I teach on myself. Mrs. Donnelly was the very first person to believe in me, but she believed in me with a tangible object. Yeah. It wasn't just her words that I could have easily refuted. I could have easily said No, Miss Dolly, you don't know what you're talking about? No, she gave me business cards. I couldn't refute that.
Gill Moakes 44:15
That was it. I couldn't she she almost validly bestowed on you. The authenticity of owning being a business owner in that moment of giving you those cards, didn't she? What again?
Jude Charles 44:27
Yeah, absolutely. It's a gift that keeps on giving. 15 years later I again, I walk into my office every morning and I look at it and I and I'm very intentional about giving her that credit. Even 15 years later, I still talk to miss Donnelly to the stage that I anytime I'm speaking on stage anytime I'm speaking on a podcast, I give her that credit because if it wasn't for the business cards, I would not be where I am today where I've travelled the world and I've been able to craft these Stories that help inspire other people. It started with that moment in time. The moment may 5 2016. Mrs. Damn, Donnelly handed me the business cards.
Gill Moakes 45:10
That's fantastic. I think that's probably one of my favourite stories that I've heard about, you know, that kind of origin story that how this how I got to where I am today stories. I think that's one of my favourite because yeah, it's just something she didn't have to do that she didn't have to do it, she could have still been a good teacher without doing that.
Jude Charles 45:38
She was She was an amazing teacher still lives. She's I believe she's still teaching TV production. It's a different high school now. But yeah, she still does. And she didn't have to. But she saw her life as she saw her mission as more than just being a teacher it was giving students a belief in themselves, that they probably didn't get at home. Right? I didn't. I didn't grow up that way. But I think that was the way she taught it is that maybe these kids aren't getting it at home? And I'm a teacher that sees them for eight hours throughout the day. Why not? I guess, why not give them that belief?
Gill Moakes 46:12
I guess it's no coincidence that you're now paying that forward?
Jude Charles 46:17
Absolutely. I don't take it for granted. So I talk about courage. And my vision and mission in life is to give others to lead entrepreneurs to have relentless courage. I took that for granted for years. I did not know me believing in myself or taking these business cards to believe in myself, and then starting a business and 17. And then just all the work that I've done all these years, I didn't that no, that courage was special. I just thought it was a human trait. Like you have to have courage like you have to do it. What do you mean? Like, there are people who don't believe in themselves, who make it to a larger stage and still have this thing that they battle with. When I'm helping someone craft a story, and I'm helping them step into their story, I am giving them not only permission to tell the story, but I'm giving them courage to tell their story. I did a two hour road mapping session roadmap things where I helped the person craft the story. And the person came to the session saying to me, you know, I almost didn't show up because I didn't think I had any stories to tell. Well, after the first hour, we found three, three different stories. And what she said to me though, it wasn't just that we found the stories, it was my reaction to the stories as she was telling them. Oftentimes people don't have that they don't get that feedback. They don't get the permission to tell their story. And simply just responding to their story gives them the courage to say, Oh, well, I can tell this to someone else, because he liked it. Maybe someone else would like it. Because of Mrs. Donald, she started this journey for me. She gave me the courage to start a business. But yeah, I think I took it for granted for so long that now I just want to give that to other people. I understand that my reason for being is leadership. But I also understand my reason for being is not just leadership, but leadership that helps guide someone else along their journey. And that to me I've chosen is courage. Give someone else just one step, allowing them take that first step and that when I leave this earth, that is what I leave them with is the first step that created the ripple effect for their legacy to continue.
Gill Moakes 48:36
And you do it beautifully.
Jude Charles 48:37
Thank you, Gill. Thank you.
Gill Moakes 48:40
I have so much going through my mind at the moment. I feel like I've just been coached, actually, which is quite an unusual experience for me, but I feel just I could hang on your every single word. So thank you so much for sharing that Jude, if, if my audience would like to reach out to you, and find out a bit more about working with you about your entire ethos, because I feel like it isn't just, I think some for the listeners now. It's not just about do I want a documentary made about me? Yes or no? Are we to reach out to do I just feel like it's so much bigger than that. I think. You know, if Jude's whole ethos has resonated with you the way it has with me, Jude, how can people reach out to you?
Jude Charles 49:30
I write and teach about the business side of storytelling through a newsletter I call the dramatic leverage newsletter. And you can find it at ju charles.co forward slash newsletter. I am very active at find that as my tribe so even if you let's say you're reading the newsletter and you respond to me, I'm always responding back to the person that emails me. Oh, but that's the best way to connect with me. That's the best way to ask questions. That's the best way to Learn more about storytelling that will then help you continue to build your business and grow your business and stand out from the rest of the world.
Gill Moakes 50:08
We'll put a link to that in the show notes. There were going to be lots of signups for that right now. And also, can I just say, I love that you just said that you kind of reply back. It's a dialogue when you send out this is added, because I think so often. Now people don't they sign up for newsletters, and they read them. But never. It brings up thoughts for them, but they don't take the time to hit reply, and actually share what those thoughts are, what that's brought up for them. Because I think they think that it's this anonymous, a amorphous being that sent out the newsletter, and they think they won't get a reply. They think it's not an invitation for a two way dialogue. So I really love that you said that, because I think that's really important to open up dialogue.
Jude Charles 51:01
Yeah, it's a conversation. It's not just me, sharing information, it is a conversation. And that is the way that I've just operated. One of my core values is depth versus width. And so I believe in having a deep relationship and a deep conversation with every person that I interact with, including this podcast, right, like we spent the last hour having a very deep conversation. My favourite thing to do may trigger certain things. Yeah, it triggers some things in your mind. And I just want to keep having that conversation is not just a one time thing. So yes, I reply and respond to each person, it doesn't matter how large this newsletter will get. That is something that I will commit to it is important to me. And I will do it.
Gill Moakes 51:47
And you just said that this isn't a one time thing. So I am taking that to mean that you will come back on to the podcast again in the future. Yes, Lee. Absolutely. Yeah, because there are so many topics and I would love to have a deep conversation with you about.
Jude Charles 52:03
Well, it's recorded and I will be back on the podcast with you, Gil to have a further conversation even as you read the newsletters and there's other things that come up. Let's continue this conversation for your audience that that again, if you take nothing else away from this three words I want you to take away is I am enough.
Gill Moakes 52:27
Perfect, perfect place to wrap. That's it. Thanks, Jude I hope you enjoyed this episode, and that getting our heads together this week has filled your mind with what's possible. If you love the show, would you do me a massive favour please? Would you leave a five star rating on Apple podcasts? It would really help you put more heads together, which will ears and expand more minds. Until next week. Bye for now.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
