Gill Moakes 0:00
Hello, hello, welcome. Thanks for joining me again on the heads together podcast. First of all, before we dive into this week's episode, I was just gonna give you a quick catch up on my book writing journey. And just to say that if you haven't already, if you head to the show notes, there's a link, where if you jump on my email list, you'll get access to my private podcast, which is called rightfully mine. And it's where I'm just sharing that book writing journey. So any of you have got writing a book on your bucket list, you might want to head over and sign up. I'm sharing all of the fields around pulling the book proposal together. It is an incredibly exciting, but frustrating journey. At the moment, I was talking to a friend actually today and we, we decided that it's a little bit like climbing a spiral staircase. So you feel like you're going round in circles. But actually, you are making progress. Because every time you complete another cycle of almost feeling like you're going back to the drawing board with your idea, you actually realise that that next cycle has been informed by everything that's gone before it. So you are moving along, you know, you are ascending that spiral staircase. But yeah, it can feel tough. This part. I think we're both my friends who's writing a book as well, I think we're both really hoping that this is definitely the hardest part, which is, you know, pulling together the idea, and really refining it into something that's going to appeal to a publisher. I think it is, I think the writing of the book is is going to be kind of the easier part of the journey to be quite honest. So I'll put the link in the show notes, if that's of interest. But back to this week's episode of heads together. And this week, I'm going to be talking about the things I do when things in my business are feeling hard. You know, when things like aren't coming naturally, things aren't flowing. And it's something I'm stuck on. Sometimes it's like I literally don't know what to do, as in, you know, don't actually know how to do something. And then it will be one thing that I'm stuck on. And suddenly everything starts feeling hard. Because that's what happens, isn't it? It's like, you struggle with one thing. And then it's like a tsunami of problems and tricky things kind of descends on you. So I wanted to just share with you this week, a few of the things that I use are strategies I use to get me through the times when building a business is hard. And trust me, everyone has times and seasons in their business that are hard, right? But successful entrepreneurs are the ones who build resilience. They're the ones who build in strategies to keep going and overcome the hard times. So that's what we're going to talk about today. Welcome, welcome to the heads together Podcast. I'm Gill Moakes. And I am obsessed with cutting through the noise when it comes to growing your business each week via intimate coaching conversations and inspirational stories. I share what it really takes to get the results you want in a way that feels right to you. I am all about attracting higher ticket opportunities, building authentic relationships, and creating the abundant full fat version of your dream business. I mean, how many of us have even away creating a light version of what we really want? The thing is, I honestly believe when you're outstanding at what you do, there is no limit to what you can achieve. So are you ready to put our heads together and make it happen? Let's go.
Gill Moakes 4:17
Okay, so the first thing I want to share, and this is a biggie for me, and it's my absolute go to when something's really challenging me where I'm fat. I'm finding something really hard. So as an example, it might be something like, I've got had a great idea for the podcast, but for some reason, the outline of it just isn't coming together. I'm getting like super frustrated. What quite often happens actually with the podcast is that I'll have like an idea of a title for a podcast episode. But then it's like the meat for the bones just won't come. When I'm thinking about what I want to say You can probably, you can probably tell that I don't actually script my episodes, but I do outline them, you know, I do like to have bullet points that I want to touch on. And sometimes even that flow of the bullet points won't even come for me. Or it might be something else, it might be something like, I have a client who I'm just kind of at a loss to know how to answer a question they've put to me maybe, right, and I really want to give them my best advice, I really want to think on it. So when things like that happen, and things are feeling hard, I make sure I have some way to break the circuit, my primary way is to just step away from my desk and go outside, I have to get outside into nature, fresh air, most of the time, it's just gonna be my garden. Right? I just, I don't want you to suddenly think I'm one of those people that drops everything, it goes on a wonderful long mindful walk. That is I kind of wish I was that person. But I'm not. But I do step outside into the garden, maybe have a coffee, it's, it's all about breaking that circuit, it's the circuit breaker that shifts your mind on to something else. So that when it returns to the thing you're struggling with, you've got a new perspective, you've got some fresh eyes on it, right. So taking yourself outside, it slows everything down. Especially if you're the sort of person that can sit nice and quietly, which I can I could sit all day, quiet in the garden, really, without doing anything at all. But just noticing what's going on around you and slowing things down. So don't take your phone out. If you go for a walk, do not take your phone, just really allow yourself to notice what's going on around you. And allow your mind to get distracted, allow your mind to wander. Because then that's the perfect mental redirect. Nature is captivating, it just, it just is right. I think there's just something about being in nature and being outside that really breaks the circuit. And lets us just reset for a minute. Sometimes, I mean, we have to be realistic, like sometimes say if you're up against a deadline or something, and you can't just step away from what you're doing, maybe you don't have time to take a break like that. So that's almost kind of compounding the frustration is that you've got a deadline to get something finished, you could still do a reset, right? Change your work environment. So so far, I'm writing and, and I do try and spend like a chunk of everyday writing, whether it's like for the podcast, or an article or blog post, whatever it is, the goal has got really hard, and I'm getting sluggish with it. Sometimes all I'll do is I'll literally just pick up my laptop, and I'll go down and leave my office goes at the dining table. It's such a such so stupidly simple, doesn't it, but it's that intentional, short circuit that our brains need to reset themselves. Yeah. And it can work so well, just changing the environment. Whenever I can, the best one is definitely going outside. But sometimes we can't. Sometimes you can't but just do something to slow things down to break the circuit in your head. So that crisis point melts a bit. And you're you're going to come back with a bit of calmness and and a clearer, fresh eyes approach. Yeah. Another thing that I tend to do, and I think this is something that as entrepreneurs, I think we all have a tendency towards this right?
Gill Moakes 9:06
We tend to, we tend to tackle problems by making them more complicated, rather than by simplifying things. Right. And I have really learned now that if something is feeling hard to me in my business, the answer is very rarely to add something. The answer will almost always be to simplify something to take something away, not to add another option, don't add another offer and other social media channel. Chances if something's feeling hard, take something away. Simplify down and you're going to feel so much more in control. So whenever suddenly feeling overwhelming, I want you to say to yourself you How can I simplify this Where am I making this more complicated than it needs to be. And I think when it comes to feeling overwhelmed, often what we do is we have the big picture in our head of what we're trying to achieve in our business, you know, the audience, we want to serve, how we want to get in front of them, how we want to get their attention, how we want to sell to them, you know, we have big visions about all of that. And it can get incredibly overwhelming, when you start thinking about all of the logistics of things it's going to take to get to where you want to be, right, that feeling of just not knowing where to start, because it feels like everything's hard. When, when you're feeling like that, the best thing you can do is that simplifying that breaking things down into micro steps, you might think, in terms of picking one thing that you want to achieve in a day, and then break that down into micro steps, tiny actions, like the smallest possible denomination of a task, you know, the thing that will move you forward the most tiny amount, and then do it again. And again. Because sometimes, things feel hard. Because we just, we feel like we just don't actually know what to do next. Sounds ridiculously obvious. But I do think as entrepreneurs, we expect ourselves to know everything, I have learned that the only expectation I need to have on myself, is the ability to figure things out. And that I know I can do. I certainly know I don't know everything. No one does. There's tonnes of gaps in my knowledge in terms of building your business. But one thing I do know is that I can figure it out, I have the ability to break things down into these micro steps, whether that's for myself, or whether it's working with a client. It's figuring out the next best step is what gives you the complete clarity around what you're trying to do. Yeah, makes sense. Because when we overcomplicate things, and we we kind of try and take this giant leap towards the bigger picture, it's so tough, it's so tough. That's where the overwhelm comes in. So I tell you, one thing that can really help is writing down the big picture, write down, describe in detail what you're trying to achieve, what is your big picture, but then coming back to those micro steps, work backwards from that back, back, back and back to the tiniest thing you could do first. Take that next step. Keep writing down the next thing. And suddenly, you know, you've got a roadmap planned out. So working backwards from that big vision can work so well. Once you've got that roadmap, then the only thing that you need to focus on is the next milestone, not the end result, not the big picture. When things feel hard, it's often because we're focusing on the end result. So the more you can break things down into the smaller components, the less overwhelming it is, and the more you control your way forward. So that is something you can definitely start practising right now. If you're getting really, really tied up in that big picture thinking and the overwhelmed setting in start working back all of the steps that would be needed to get there and start with just that next small piece.
Gill Moakes 14:06
I must be reciting that my clients are my business coaching clients, they would probably without exception say that this is where the beauty of working with a coach comes in. Because they know what their big picture is. But what they don't know or what they struggle with, is breaking it down into those what the next thing I need to focus on. And I think that is something where a coaching relationship comes into its own having someone help you focus in microfocus in on what the next thing is that's going to lead you that one step closer to the big picture. So if that's something that you're you struggle with, do think about hiring a coach if you don't have one already As always, there's an application, a link to an application in my show notes. So if you want to book a breakthrough session with me, you're more than welcome to do that. But whoever you choose, whatever kind of coach it is that you feel would be best for you, it can really help you break down and identify what your next best step is. Okay. So what else do I do when things get hard? I genuinely do this. And again, this is kind of we're going micro steps to bigger picture thinking and back again and back again. Because there are lots of strategies that I use, but one of the things I do when, when I'm getting really frustrated with something, this will be something I do, and that is really coming back to why I started this business. Why did I become a coach? Or why do I write why do I? Why do I record this podcast? Okay, so go for breaking things down to tiny steps. Now we're going back to the even bigger picture, even bigger than what you're trying to achieve, right? The why? What's your purpose? What's the mission? What are the values, all of those intangible things that are sometimes hard to pinpoint? Those are the things that as you reconnect to them, the thing you're struggling with becomes more tolerable. You become more resilient. Because the more attached you are to your why. The more resilient you are to anything that tries to set you off course. So if ever, there's a reason to do that deep work around your purpose, your why, again, with a coach, if that's what will work for you. But the more you can do that, then when things feel hard, you've got that Northstar to come back to, to build that resilience to build a tolerance for doing hard things. That's just so key. Take time, take some time to think about that. Combine them go out in nature in the garden and start thinking about why did I start this business, but genuinely sit there and think over it. Get out of the weeds of the task into that bigger picture of why build that tolerance, build the resilience, it will make a massive difference? I promise you. Because the thing is, you know, it's okay for things to be hard sometimes. Right? Not everything's gonna be easy all the time. And actually, when your mission is so much bigger than this one thing you're struggling with, and it's okay, for that one thing to be hard. Right? I tell you, what will work really well here is affirmations. And like anyone who knows me, I'm not very, you know, I was about to say woowoo. I don't really like to say that. Now, if you ask quite insulting, isn't it really? I think I say it a lot. And I don't really want to say that anymore. Because I is quite insulting. It's sort of like putting everyone with a spiritual alternative belief system and then giving it this kind of sarcastic name. Yeah, I'm not loving that. Okay. In fact, I've just stopped doing it. That is my resolve is to not use that expression anymore. But anyway, back to affirmations. They can be incredibly useful. And they can look, they're gonna look different for everyone. Right? But the one I have, which is a go to, for if I'm struggling with something. The affirmation that I use is, this is my business. And I get to choose exactly what it looks and feels like. And I know I'm capable of figuring out anything that I choose to do.
Gill Moakes 19:01
Okay, that's the affirmation that I have on a post it note here on my wall I'm looking at now I have it on my desk. And I read it a lot is suddenly feeling tough. If I'm feeling disheartened about something if I'm struggling to know what the right step for me is next, that affirmation. This is my business. And I get to choose exactly what it looks and feels like. And I know I'm capable of figuring out anything that I choose to do. That is really powerful for me. What's powerful for me and what I find helpful won't necessarily be what you find helpful when it comes to affirmations. Don't Google inspiring affirmations? Please write yours. Write one for yourself. Really dig deep inside you. Write your own affirmation that feels like that. feels authentic, something you know is going to give you comfort. When things are hard. Right? It's got to be authentically your own affirmation, not someone else's words of encouragement. Because I feel like that's a completely different thing. Your affirmations are the words that really resonate with you. And don't forget, no one else ever needs to see it. It can be anything, it can be ridiculous, it can just be but it just needs to mean something to you. No one else. Right? Just thinking about that lots of us are creative. Particularly, this is so this can be massively frustrating for creative entrepreneurs. So if you're, I don't know, if you're a writer, or an artist, or photographer or you know, something where your creativity really comes into play with for your business. It can be incredibly frustrating when that creativity decides to kind of take some time off without you. Do you know what I mean? It's like, I want to write creativity. Where have you gone? Why have you decided to be? Here, here's, here's the thing, that's definitely true. You cannot force that creativity to come back from vacation early. That creativity will return when it's good and ready. But you know, what you can do is you can try and entice, sit back a little. So you the way you do that, if you entice it back with kindness, practice some self care, create an inviting environment to work in, consume lots of creative content, inspirational content, you know, all those things that cultivate a really comfortable space for that creativity to come back to. Okay, I don't know if that metaphor works for you. I like that metaphor of creativity taking a holiday. And you have to kind of entice it to come back early. by promising it something good to come back to in terms of environment. So this is so true for me, I know that if my desk here is really messy, which is at the moment, actually, then I'll find it really hard to write, it's almost like I need to do a little ritual of tidying everything up. And then I've got this blank space to writing. I don't know if that makes sense to you. But I mean, work out what works for you, when you're trying to be creative. And that might be writing copy for your business, or, you know, wherever creativity shows up in your business, it is frustrating when it's checked out. But you know, you can do your bit, to getting it back, which is to create that welcoming environment, for the way you like to work. Last thing I want to share really is around being really honest, and transparent. When you're feeling like this, when things are feeling hard. When things aren't in flow, and you're feeling frustrated, and you're not seeing the results that you were hoping for, or, you know, you feel like you just don't know what to do next. Please seek some help ask for some help. Right. And most of you I know, have businesses like me that are mostly online. So whether you're a coach, or you're working in the branding world, marketing world, whatever it is, you do, and you know, the problem is when we're working online so much. We get really tied up sometimes in thinking that
Gill Moakes 23:47
we just need to be networking with future potential clients. But what if your network were wider than that? You know, what if? What if you were part of some communities and groups where you have your peers, you have like minded people are going to share some of those same struggles that you're in. Because honestly, there's nothing better than having that shoulder to cry on, or just someone that voice in your ear encouraging you. So who are your business? Besties who are the people that you can rely on to really talk you up if you're having a rubbish time? You know, things aren't feeling right. Find those people, surround yourself with some good people. And then be honest and transparent and reach out. You don't have to know everything. You really don't. You just got to be able to figure things out. And whether that's by going to get help or advice, Dr. Google a coach, whatever it is, you can figure this out. You're an entrepreneur and that's what we do. And I think the more You can come back to the fact that if you are feeling overwhelmed, there are strategies you can employ to cut through that overwhelm. Come back to why you do what you do. So building that tolerance, that resilience, and then learning how to take those micro steps that you need to take to just get to that next level, that next thing that next milestone. Okay. I hope that's been helpful. I don't think it's been too negative. You know, at the end of the day, like I said before, we all have seasons in our business, which are harder than others. And that's okay, that's part of the journey. And we've all got to stop trying to portray this picture of this instead, perfect picture of perfection, where none of us show any flaws in terms of our business acumen or our knowledge, right, because it just doesn't wash anymore. Everyone, whether it's a potential client or a peer, or anyone in your life, doesn't want to see that picture, perfect version. They want the real version, and they want you to show up as that real version. Okay, I hope that's been helpful. I'm gonna pop a few links in the show notes. I'll pop a link into apply for a breakthrough session with me, if you would like to, because I do think this is this topic is a biggie, you know, and sometimes we do struggle on alone for too long, whoever you're going to seek support from, whatever it looks like for you. Don't struggle on in silence. Okay. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable. If I'd been afraid to be vulnerable, I would definitely not have built the business that I have. Now. I think it's actually a prerequisite for being successful is being able to be vulnerable to being able to voice it when things are feeling hard, and to be able to do something about it. All right. As always, thank you for joining me, and I'll see you next week. Bye for now. I hope you enjoyed this episode, and that getting our heads together this week has filled your mind with what's possible. If you love the show, would you do me a massive favour please? Would you leave a five star rating on Apple podcasts? It would really help you put more heads together, which one is and expand more minds. Until next week. Bye for now.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
