Gill Moakes 0:00
Welcome back to the heads together podcast. I'm your host Moakes. And today, I may quite possibly completely melt and slither under my desk this episode, I'm gonna be completely honest, it may be a little shorter than our average because in the UK right now we are having a heatwave. And we're going to have record ly high temperatures today. Now I understand that our reaction in the UK to weather is slightly different to most countries. But by any one standard, this is warm, and we have no aircon. So take pity. Anyway, I still want you to record today. And actually, before we dive in to that point, I have such a strong commitment to doing this podcast. That while it would have been easy today to say, oh my god, it's just too hot. The sound quality might not be quite right, because I'm just absolutely not closing all of the windows and doors like I usually do and creating my little recording vacuum. There's no way that's happening today. So maybe the sound won't be as good. But here's the thing, my commitment to showing up and doing this is greater than my intolerance for the discomfort of feeling hot. And I think I'm no martyr Trust me, I am no matter. But this is where it's a real coming to life, if you like of that hole. When you know, your why your purpose, your commitment to serving your audience is really strong. I don't want to have weeks where I just don't show up because it's too hot. So my tolerance for that discomfort is higher. And it's something I talked about a couple of episodes ago. So maybe go back and check that one out about what to do when things in your business feel really hard. Yeah, so I just wanted to kind of call that out a little bit before I dive into today's episode where I'm going to be talking about starting or pivoting your business. In midlife, it's something that comes up a lot with the clients I work with most of the women that I work with over 40. And I myself didn't start my own first business as a VA when I first left my nine to five job until I was in my 40s. So the feeling that a lot of people have of having left something too late is to me. Just it's not valid. It really isn't too late. And that's what I want to talk about in today's episode. So let's go. Well, welcome. Welcome to the heads together Podcast. I'm Gill Moakes. And I am obsessed with cutting through the noise when it comes to growing your business each week via intimate coaching conversations and inspirational stories. I share what it really takes to get the results you want, in a way that feels right to you. I am all about attracting higher ticket opportunities, building authentic relationships, and creating the abundant full fat version of your dream business. I mean, how many of us have paved the way creating a light version of what we really want? The thing is, I honestly believe when you're outstanding at what you do, there is no limit to what you can achieve. So are you ready to put our heads together and make it happen? Let's go.
Gill Moakes 4:03
Okay, so it's not too late. And how do I know that? Well, it certainly wasn't too late for me. It certainly isn't too late for a lot of the women I work with whether they're starting a business, or whether they're an established business owner who have been doing things the way they've been doing them for a long time and feel like they need a change or they need a change of direction of change of purpose a change of something because that often comes to us doesn't it in midlife is that real deep feeling of needing a change? A feeling like there must be more that nagging feeling that won't go away that feeling like you're meant for more that you want more joy in what you're doing every day and you want to make more impact on the world and certainly have more money in the bank right I think that's really common. When we get to middle up, let's say middle age that sounds really horrible midlife, I like midlife a lot better. When you get to midlife, I do think there's a lot of people who are feeling that there must be more feeling. And I think so many women allow the I've left it too late story, to hold them back. And I just wanna have us think about a bit of a paradigm shift around that today. Because what if, what if midlife was actually the best time to start a business, or the best time to make a big change a big pivot in your business? And I think there are a few reasons why that's true. I think that certainly by the time you've reached midlife, you, you tend to have a more purposeful outlook Anyway, you've done a lot of that soul searching, when you're younger in in trying to find the thing, your thing, as Ken Robinson calls it, your element to finding your element, I love that book, check that one out, if if you get a chance, it's a great book. And I think so many of us by midlife have a y a purpose that is really focused on making a difference. And for some of us, it's on me leaving a legacy. It's certainly about having impact, it's more than about the money. And people say that all the time. And you know, if you listen to this podcast, you know that I make a stand for the and I absolutely believe that we can make an impact, we can have a purpose led business and make as much money as we want to make. These are not mutually exclusive. So that's a really important thing to remember. And I think it's definitely for me, the purpose and the getting my message out there around being authentically who you are doing what you love, which are the two things that I am so passionate about, mainly because it took me so long to start being authentically who I am, and to start doing what I love. And I guess my mission, if you like is to kind of cut down that journey time for other women. But equally, it doesn't matter when you come to that realisation. And if it is in midlife, like it was for me, it's not too late. Right. And so having that sense of purpose, that thing that gets you up in the morning, the thing that keeps you moving forward when you hit a rough patch, right? That's crucial. Particularly as business owners, we've got to have something that's more than just money to really keep us driving forward. Because being an entrepreneur isn't a linear, easy ride. It's the hardest job you'll ever do. And by hard, I mean that in lots of different ways, you'll probably work more hours than you ever have.
Gill Moakes 8:44
You will probably have to make more decisions than you ever thought were possible to fit into a day. There are lots of things about owning and running a business are hard. But it's also going to be the most purposeful, satisfying, fulfilling thing you've ever done. And certainly my clients are all purpose, their business owners, they all have a reason, a bigger reason than the money for doing what they do. And for many of them, that real establishment of of clarity around the purpose piece of their work is something that's come later, not at the beginning of starting their businesses. So that purpose is and that that motivation for keeping going when things are hard. Absolutely crucial. And as midlife women, you know, we're ready to make a difference to our little corner of the planet. Right. And by midlife, I think that we've got all the tools we need to do that. The minute you let your business be the thing you can't not do, then I don't care whether you are 20 or 60, you can do it is not too late. You just got to have the right motivation and intention. Another thing that I've been thinking about as well is that quite often, impostor syndrome is so much easier to tame as you get older, I know that when I was younger, I definitely held myself back from trying new things in my career, and then in any endeavour, really, because of acute imposter syndrome. But I think, as we get older, we know, deep down that we are expert at something probably more than one thing, right. You know, by midlife, we've got this rich story behind us. And certainly in terms of interacting with our clients, we've got a greater capacity for empathy, a greater capacity for building these deep, trusting relationships that I think becomes so much easier as you're older, as you're more able to tame that impostor syndrome and really believe that you have something to offer something to be that recognised or authority in. So I think that's something that really that experience that you've built up over the years, really, with that experience comes confidence. And midlife women should be absolutely embracing that advantage. That knowledge deep down that you have something that you and only you are expert in in the way you do it. Right. The third thing that came to me when I was thinking about this is the big one for me, the authenticity piece, I know without any shadow of a doubt that this is something that really only in my 40s Have I been able to step into. I was an absolute chameleon. Throughout my career, you know, I would, and not just my career, my life really I was such a people pleaser. And that would make me a chameleon, it would really make me shape shift. With every relationship, whether that be a work relationship, a personal relationship, family, it will make me shape shift into the way that I thought the other person wanted me to be. I would talk in a voice and I would have an opinion that I thought they would want me to have. And only as I hit my 40s and even more so now in my 50s
Gill Moakes 13:20
Do I feel like I've stepped into who I authentically am. Am I brave enough to give my own opinion on things? If this isn't something that you struggle with? And it's something that you have always been able to nail then I am, you know, absolutely in awe. Because for me, it's been one of the hardest journeys to break out from being a people pleaser, who I would put myself last all of the time. I would much rather make things uncomfortable for myself and for someone else. I would conform to any stereotype that I thought was expected of me. And certainly now I don't feel any pressure to do that anymore. I think I now and only now have that competence to show up as genuinely me, Joe Moakes No one else. It's just me. It's my opinions. It's my advice. The work I do with my clients, they get a consistent version of me because there is just that one version now. And it's very, very liberating. For one thing, it feels good for me. But the other side of that is that when you start showing up consistently, authentically, then your clients are gonna absolutely love you for it. Because here's the thing, people are absolutely bored stiff with polished, glossy sales pitch years, you know, instant, perfect. People don't really want that people don't believe that anymore. When social media first came about all of that sort of glossy perfection was very aspirational. It was inspiring to us to think that maybe one day, we could replicate that. But I think we are so much more savvy now, I think we're so much, we're so bored. To be honest with that picture perfect. We want to be able to relate to the person that we're thinking of working with, or we're thinking of buying something from, you know, so whether you sell physical products or a service, if you're a coach, if you're a consultant, you know, whatever it is you do. If you're really authentic, and transparent, and honest and consistent with that, then you're halfway there already, because that's how relationships are built. And I think we all recognise now that certainly, if you have a higher ticket offer to sell this is where relationship marketing is your finest. And some might say only tall. So that's really something to think about how, as you're older, as you get to midlife, it's actually so much easier, you're ready to shrug off any kind of pale imitation you've been doing of someone else, and you're really ready to show up as yourself. And it's something that I think many of us in midlife are working on constantly, to get even better at it. But it is something that comes easier as you get older. There's another thing that's just come to my mind about one of the advantages, not a disadvantage. Remember when we're flipping the paradigm in this episode, you know, we're looking at what if midlife is the best time to start a business or to make a big pivot in the business that you're in to do something differently, to expand in the way that you've always dreamt of Right? Or, conversely, maybe the big shift for you is to downshift. When you get to middle age, this isn't all about wanting more. This is about getting what you want. It could be equally as valid, that the thing that you want is actually to downshift to a simpler way of life. Not to do something radically different, but actually to cut back from what you're doing. But it's feels like it's just feels hard to make the decision. So you know, all of this absolutely can be looked at both ways for sure. But in terms of starting a business, pivoting a business, one thing that I've noticed, when you get to midlife, I think most midlife women would agree with me on this, we have more energy than we had another test. I do, I have definitely have more energy now for my business than I did in my 30s. And the truth is,
Gill Moakes 18:12
I'm not out partying, every chance I get. I don't have small children making demands on me. All of that energy that used to be devoted to raising a family, to being out being socialising all of the time. You know, I can now lavish that on my business. There's no one here to tell me not to work a 14 hours a day, every now and then if I want to, I can just do it without feeling guilty. That energy boost of having no one making those day to day demands on you is huge. So that's an interesting one, isn't it? I definitely I I honestly would say I have more energy now than I had back then. Just because of that freedom I feel from being able to make all of my own decisions around where my time is spent every day. So all of these little reasons we put in our heads about I've left it too late to do X, Y or Zed I would really flip that. And I would say to myself, gosh, I'm so glad that I've left it till now to do this. This is the absolute right time for me to be doing this. I'm ready. So if you know deep down, that you've created a light version of the business that you really want to build, or if you're still working your nine to five and are thinking I would have loved to have started my own business. I'd have loved to come freelance I would love to have, you know, become a consultant, whatever that is for you. And you're feeling like you've left it too late, I really want you to have a think and just reframe that as what if this is the best time to do it? It's a really interesting paradigm shift. And I believe in this, I really believe in this. It doesn't for one minute say that you can't start grow and scale an incredibly successful business in your 20s. You absolutely can. And fantastic that more young people are feeling that that's an option for them. You know, so many of us are certainly it was never an option for me, when I left school, it was actually expected that I would get a job in either a bank or an insurance company. Yeah, very, very narrow choice there, I seem to remember. Let's embrace it as midlife women, let's stop limiting what we can do. With the vast expanse that is the rest of our life. You know, it's kind of crazy to keep putting these limitations on when you can and can't start something. Or when you can, or can't make a big decision to do something brave a life changing decision to do something different. Right? Your one life. Don't limit it, embrace it, embrace it. Think of all the reasons why this is the best time to do it. As always, if you want some help weeding through that, and those feelings around the courage that you need to maybe make a big pivot in your business, take it in a different direction to the one you've been going in. Or even if you want to start a business, then reach out. Book a breakthrough session, there'll be a link in the show notes. Have a read particularly, there's two books actually that I want to recommend. I'll put links in the show notes on as Ken Robinson is finding your elephant element. So that's for a great one for you. If you struggle with that question of you know, well, what is my purpose? I don't know what my purpose is. I don't know what my why is it that's a great book. Another great book is the idea in you. That is a book by Martin Moore and Alex Pell you and again, I'll link to that in the show notes. It's another one that I really, really like. And actually the third book recommendation I'm going to pop in the show notes is yes, you freaking can by Trevor Lynch, another really, really good book. So a few options there. I hope that's been useful for you. If you're one of those people that have is kind of feeling like there must be more or that you've been limiting yourself, but are now worried that you've left it too late to go big. You haven't. Okay. All right. Have an amazing week and I will catch you next week. I'm hoping it will call down a bit for us here wherever you are. Just have an amazing week. Okay. Bye for now.
Gill Moakes 23:15
I hope you enjoyed this episode. And getting our heads together this week has filled your mind with what's possible. If you love the show, would you do me a massive favour please? Would you leave a five star rating on Apple podcasts? It would really help you put more heads together, reach more ears and expand more minds. Until next week. Bye for now.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
