e166 How to Build a Business That Doesn’t Break You
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[00:00:00] Welcome. Welcome to the Heads Together podcast. I'm your host, Gill Moakes. Thank you so much for being back here with me again this week. If you've just found me, you're so welcome here. I am very happy to have you. This week's episode is something that I feel incredibly passionate about. It isn't the usual kind of episode I do.
This one might be a little bit more somber than some episodes, actually, but it's really important. Such an important topic. Honestly, I can't even begin to tell you. I feel so passionately about this topic around burnout because I have seen so many brilliant. Women burnout and break down chasing a business that was supposed to bring them freedom.
So in this episode, I wanna talk about burnout. I [00:01:00] wanna talk about how it shows up. I wanna talk about why it happens and how you can build a business that actually supports you and doesn't suck the life out you possible, I promise.
Let's dive in.
Welcome, welcome to the Heads Together podcast. I'm Gill Moakes, and I am obsessed with cutting through the noise when it comes to growing your business. Each week via intimate coaching conversations and inspirational stories. I share what it really takes to get the results you want. In a way that feels right to you, I am all about attracting higher ticket opportunities, building authentic relationships, and creating the abundant, full fat version of your dream business.
I mean, how many of us have beavered away creating a light version of what we really want? [00:02:00] The thing is, I honestly believe. When you are outstanding at what you do, there is no limit to what you can achieve. So are you ready to put our heads together and make it happen? Let's go.
First of all, I just wanna say that in the coaching world, the industry I'm part of, burnout is absolutely right, and I think there's a couple of reasons for that. One is that most of us were never taught how build a business. We were taught how coach. Great transformational coaching results with our clients.
We weren't taught how to grow a sustainable business, so we get thrown into this really noisy online world, which is kind of full of this pressure to hustle and be constantly on, constantly [00:03:00] marketing, scaling, being endlessly visible while pretending.
I believe that coaches are some of the most heart led people on the planet, right? So on the one hand, you've got this desire to serve people, but without the knowledge of how to grow a business. And because we're in this business of transformation. It often means that we don't put in place strong boundaries for ourselves.
We don't have sustainable systems. We don't put in solid strategies, and so we become really overfunctioning, but under supported in our business until we snap. So if you are. Tired. Tired. If you're overwhelmed, you feel like you're running on fumes, right? I just want you to know you're not broken. It's the system that's broken [00:04:00] and we can build a better system, but we have to do things differently.
We absolutely have to. I think. Burnout isn't just about physical exhaustion, it's about that, don't get me wrong, it's exhausting to feel burn out, but it's also about this really deep emotional depletion and often that shows up as chronic doubt. You know that. Constant second guessing of yourself. That constant struggle to make decisions because you'd lost touch completely with your intuition.
You're not listening to yourself. That is absolutely depleting emotionally. There's a few different signs actually of burnout. Particularly for us as coaches, and I think the first one I've noticed in the past, [00:05:00] this hasn't happened to me for a long time now. I think because I've deliberately thought this through and put in place strategies and sustainable systems into my business, that mean that I don't operate.
Like that anymore, but certainly when I was, I remember one of the first signs for me of approaching burnout was dreading client sessions that I had once absolutely adored. So it wasn't anything to do with the client. These were clients I loved, but whereas once, you know, open up my Google calendar and I'd feel so excited for the calls I was gonna have that day, I'd be like, oh my goodness, I can't wait to catch up with this person.
I can't wait to hear how such and such was getting on that got replaced with this sinking feeling, this dread. Of doing the work, the actual coaching work, and that was a massive [00:06:00] red flag for me. I think another sign is when you start feeling really resentful about time that you spend in the business, kind of creating content, doing your marketing Now.
Don't get me wrong, there are always gonna be things inside the business that you don't absolutely love. But if it's a change, if there has been a time when you felt so creatively fulfilled by marketing your business by, you know, coming up with really interesting ideas of content to create, et cetera, and then suddenly you're feeling very resentful of the time you've gotta spend doing that, it's almost like you'd rather be.
That's a red flag too. Another one is not being able to switch off. This was a big one for me because I can remember my partner just getting so angry because I was constantly in even, you know, I'd be eating dinner with one eye on my phone. You know, he'd be wanting me to watch a movie with him, but instead I'd be scrolling on my phone [00:07:00] constantly and I think when we, in of and desperation to grow business.
That can lead to this feeling of needing to always be on, always be available, because we're terrified of missing something that could result in a client, basically. And that is a sure fire sign that burnout is on the horizon if you just simply cannot switch off. You know you are p your eyes open in the morning and looking at your emails.
Another sign is when. You've just lost that clarity around what you really want, about the vision you have for the business, the direction the business is going in. When that all gets a bit muddy, it can often mean you're doing too many things. You've made your business so complex that you can't see the word for the trees anymore and again, that can be a really common sign that burnout is coming for you.
Another [00:08:00] example I think is. When you secretly or not so secretly fantasize about quitting? Who's done that? I know. I know there are people listening now thinking, oh my God, I've so done that. And if that is where you are at the moment, please hang on in there because I promise you, you're gonna get to the other side of this.
But seriously, I've been there. I have had seasons in my business where I have just felt like, this is too hard. I'm doing too much. I'm never off. I can't sustain this, I can't do this. You know, I was, um, talking to someone the other day, you know, I'm pausing because part of me is wondering whether I should actually share.
This might be a bit triggering, but do you know what? I'm gonna share it because that's who I'm, I can honestly remember a time where I was so burnt out. So desperate for a break and yet so [00:09:00] incapable of taking one. I was so frightened of not making a success of my business that I actually had this train of thought that went, it would really feel good right now if I had to have a short stay in hospital.
Honestly, that's how desperate I felt. And I'm not very proud of saying that because that's a terrible, terrible thing to say. And of course I absolutely caveat to it with, you know, oh, nothing serious. Obviously not, not some sort of serious illness, but maybe some sort of minor accident that broken ankle or something that just had me laid up for a week or two.
It was like I wanted something or so to take the decision outta my hands so that I had to rest. And of course I didn't. I carried on and it got harder and I felt like I was just holding everything together by sheer willpower, which was very, very quickly eroding, right? So I promise I have been there and I'm absolutely a long time out the other side now, [00:10:00] but I can remember how freaking hard that is and how dangerous its to feel that way.
And how unnecessary now for. But you know what? If you are feeling like that, I want you to know this is not a personal failing. These things that I've just listed off, they're signs that your business model might be unsustainable. Yes. That the way you are working is costing you too much. It's costing you too much energetically, emotionally, spiritually, in every way.
It can cost you. It's costing you too much. Let's get really honest for a. The coaching industry kind of celebrates a certain kind of performance. Actually, it's not just the coaching industry, the the online world. The online business arena celebrates a kind of performance. It celebrates performative [00:11:00] success, performative confidence, performative ease.
We're supposed to all find everything to be in flow, and so what happens is that.
Feels good to run, right? So we overdeliver, we under charge. We start comparing ourselves to these shiny highlight reels on Instagram, right? We suddenly finding ourselves signed up to strategies that feel really off for us, but we stick to them for too long. 'cause we think we must be the problem. But the truth is, you know, and I see this a lot from inside the industry.
Many, many coaching businesses are built on sand. They have no clear niche, they've got no boundaries. There's no offer strategy, there's no systems, and that simply creates so much [00:12:00] pressure just to hustle harder all the time to stay visible. And you know what's really ironic about this is that most of us as coaches, left jobs to escape.
And have now ended up replicating the very dynamic we ran away from because now we are doing everything. We're the boss and the employee and the admin and the marketing team, and nobody's checking in to ask how we're, we've got the worst of all worlds, but it doesn't have to be like this. I really want you to hear this.
It's absolutely possible and absolutely available for you to build a business that supports your life instead of hijacking it. Right? But it requires intentional, conscious decisions. And you know, in, in my business, there are six foundations that I teach and live by. That's really, I.[00:13:00]
Because I know that when I'm out of alignment, that's when I'm potentially fair game for burnout. So for me now, I am always evolving and changing and developing my business because I evolve and change as a human and I want my business run six things I.
I actually want you to get a pen and paper. If you haven't got pen and paper in front of you, hit pause for a moment. Come back to me when you have, because I want you to write these six things down and I want you to journal after this. I don't care if you're not a regular journaler journal after this, on these six topics of what you can do to incorporate these six things into your business, right?
Number one, you need to have a bold. Clear vision. [00:14:00] Yeah. I'm not inventing the wheel here, right? You cannot have the business you want until you know what you want. But what do you want? Not what the industry tells you to want, not what the seven figure bro marketers shouting about. What does a joyful, sustainable business look?
That's the first one. The second thing is having a focused and super aligned offer. You do not need a million different offers, right? You need one signature offer that is so rooted in who you are and meets a very clear need for your ideal client and the.
Really genuinely has space for you to thrive whilst delivering it. Okay? Three things. It's gotta be [00:15:00] super aligned with what you are great at. What does a whole of you, how can that be embodied into your offer? What is the exact thing your ideal clients want and need, and how can you design an offer that has space in it for you to thrive?
It might be that for you one-on-one coaching is just the simple, spacious way that you want to build your business, and you don't give a shit about everyone who tells you that's not scalable. Hearing that. We became coaches because we love to coach our clients. And if for you the simplicity of one-on-one coaching is just beautiful for you, accept that that's okay.
But equally, if that isn't what you want, and if what you want is a some kind of group program where you bring together people in community and you coach them like that. [00:16:00] This is about really answering what is right for you. Third thing, you have to have boundaries and clear capacity. Awareness. This is really important.
You've got to know your limits and you've got to honor them. So you need to decide how many clients you can energetically hold at one time. Right. You need to make decisions around how you want to communicate with those clients when you are gonna be available, and then you've gotta hold to those boundaries just religiously.
Your wellbeing absolutely depends on you honoring those boundaries and your own capacity. Fourth thing, you need to create a marketing ecosystem that you love because marketing be joyful and. When it's built around your natural voice, your message, your strengths, and in a rhythm [00:17:00] that suits your life, you don't have to be everywhere.
I still see most coaches spreading themselves too thin. You do not have to be everywhere. I know it's scary to turn off what in some way you look at as a tap, but if you are honest with yourself, when is the last time you got a client from, I dunno, TikTok or LinkedIn or Instagram or you know, whatever is the erroneous platform for you, right?
You don't have Be everywhere ideal
content. Where they consume content. If they consume content, right? Content marketing is just one piece of a marketing ecosystem. You know, some of you, if having a spacious feel good business means not buying into the content marketing circus, then maybe for you, all of your marketing is based on [00:18:00] relationships.
Maybe you just acquire clients being. Have you noticed the theme here? It's what is right for you? Fifth thing, I want you to start thinking of rest as a strategy. Rest is not the reward for having a successful business. It is part of what creates a successful business. Do I need to say that again? Rest is not the reward.
It's an ingredient. When you rest, when you create space for yourself, you also create clarity, but you also create space for new ideas, for creativity, and that is generally what makes us feel good in our business. Energy builds inside us when we stop leaking it out constantly. So [00:19:00] rest when you need to.
Day, forget. Build an element of rest into every single day. If you are one of those people that always works through lunch, just start putting an hour in your calendar every day between 12 and one and making it your business to split your day into two halves. The work you do before lunch and then a lunch period where you're gonna have a walk.
Take a beat. Maybe just put your head back for a minute, listen to some music, whatever, and then split the other half of your day into the work you do after that. Rest as a strategy. Please do that one. And then the sixth thing is community and mentorship. We were never meant do this alone. None of us find.[00:20:00]
Not just the successful, not the Insta versions of you bring the whole vulnerable version that needs support, that wants to be able to ask for help. Sometimes when you invest in mentorship that sees you as a whole human, not just as your revenue number, everything changes. One thing I often say to business coaches.
You have to make sure your clients understand that there is no business coaching without personal coaching. Business coaching in isolation will not make any sense, have to coach the person. So please find mentorship. Community, whatever that looks like for you. Obviously I'm gonna share details of my own community [00:21:00] in the show notes and ways that you can work with me as a mentor.
But seriously, it doesn't have to be me. Obviously find the person that's right for you. 'cause you weren't meant to do this on your own. So here's the invitation. I guess you.
However hard this is feeling right now, however, scarce you feel like clients are, however overwhelmed you feel by all of the things you feel you need to do right? You get to do it differently. You don't have to burn out to prove your value. You don't have to sacrifice your peace for success because. It no issue.
It should sustain you. It should feel like something that you really can do, not something constantly. [00:22:00] If that's hit home. If you are listening to this and thinking, bloody hell, Jill. Honestly, I honestly feel like I'm constantly in a state of recovering from the week before. Not okay. Not okay. Not sustainable.
It's not the end of the road. If you are, if feeling acutely aware that, you know, these red flags are really landing with you, it's not the end of the road. It's just a redirection because you can build a business that does not break you. If this episode has resonated and you are realizing that something needs to shift in the way you are building your business, reach out to me.
Email me. You know, I love an email info com. I love an email. I will put links for everything, obviously in the show notes, but we should talk. I would love, love, love to be able to help you navigate this. Because this is holding you back, [00:23:00] right? So I'll put links to the different ways you can work with me in the show notes.
But until next time, I'll be back here again. Same place, same time next week. I feel like this has been a more somber than usual episode, but a really important one, don't you think? Really important. So until next time, just honor your energy please. You did not come this far to burn out. You did not put all of this effort in to fall at this hurdle, right?
You came to build something beautiful, something that does represent freedom for you and should represent freedom for you and can. You might just need a bit help.
Okay. Alright. I will see you back here, same time, same place next week. Have a wonderful week and make sure you get some rest. Bye for now.[00:24:00]
I hope you enjoyed this episode and that getting our heads together this week has filled your mind with what's possible. If you love the show, would you do me a massive favor? Please? Would you leave a five star rating on Apple Podcasts? It would really help you Put more heads together, reach more ears, and expand more minds.
Until next week, bye for now.
