e172 What Might Be Possible If We Set Aside Our Ego
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[00:00:00] Welcome back to Rewild Your Business, the podcast for women who are building businesses, doing the work that matters to them. I'm your host, Gill Moakes, and this is episode 1 7 2 - 172 times I've spoken into this microphone in the hope that sharing my own business journey and everything I've learned along the way, all the mistakes I've made can help you as you build your own business.
And today I wanna talk about something that honestly, I believe wrecks more dreams, more businesses than failure ever could. And that is the cost to you of trying to look further ahead than you actually are. We all, I believe, are conscious of this. It's that fear of being seen as a beginner, as being seen as someone who hasn't got it all together.
We wanna [00:01:00] look more established, more successful than we actually are. 'cause that gives us confidence. So this is natural. This is not me saying, I've never felt like that. Good Lord. No. This is me saying that is perfectly normal, right? But it is a dream wrecker. I think we've all kind of absorbed this image of success Right? You know where everything you touch, you've got like the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to gold. You know, when you launch a program, it's full. You've got a wait list, you've got tens of thousands of followers, you've got glowing testimonials coming out of your ears. Your brandings flawless.
Your website looks like it was built by some like incredible luxury design house. That overall picture of someone who's got it together. But you know what? For so many women who are building truly soul led [00:02:00] businesses, businesses that really matter to them, that are their conduit for doing the work that matters, that image becomes a very restrictive cage.
Let's dive into the episode. Welcome to Rewild Your Business, the podcast for women doing the work, their soul intended. I'm Gill Moakes. I'm an international business coach, and I'm a guide for women doing the work that matters. Rewilding your business means cutting away what doesn't belong to allow, what does to thrive.
Finding simplicity in your work. And it's about bringing the whole of who you are to the table. Whether you are building something new or finding your way back to what really matters to you. I'm so glad you're here. When looking established becomes the goal. I think we start to avoid the things that might reveal We're still building.
Yeah. The things that [00:03:00] might let on that we're still figuring things out as we go along and we start sort of sidestepping the imperfect bits. The stuff that we're not actually quite sure how to do that yet, or what the outcome of that yet is gonna be, but we're gonna do it anyway. We try to sidestep that because we wanna preserve this picture of being further ahead, being more established, and so then we try and avoid that mid journey stage, that stage that every single successful business has to.
Or sometimes, you know, we don't even start. I have seen a lot of business owners procrastinate on getting going with building their business for years because they are too embarrassed. They are too held back by their ego to show that they're just starting out to show that they are trying something new.[00:04:00]
I dunno if I mentioned this last week, I might have done, I've said this to a few people recently, so I apologize if I said this last week, but someone asked me in an interview recently what I thought was the kind of number one secret to the success that I've had in my business, and my answer to that question is always the same.
It's that I'm not afraid to fail. I'm not afraid to make mistakes. I'm not afraid to a silly, I'm not afraid to try something and for it. I'm not afraid to have to say, I've given this a go, but actually I don't like it. I wanna change it. I'm gonna pivot. I need to try something different. I wanna go in a different direction.
I've never been afraid of that. I think it comes from literally a lifetime as Aer. It's what my mom used to call me. There's a, a post I wrote about this. I was always brought up to believe that being this flimflam was a bit of a imperfection of mine. It [00:05:00] was something that would hold me back in life. My mum would say all the time, oh, you never see things through.
As I've got older and particularly in business, I now understand that about myself and I can now see what a blessing that is for me. I can now see how liberating it's to be someone who isn't afraid to fail, who's not afraid to be seen as a beginner, who's not afraid to. Be really good at some things and be just a beginner and trying and, and starting from the beginning at other things.
I can see now that that is one of the reasons that I've been successful because it's meant that I've taken risks. It's meant that I have experimented and tried things and I think. The ego around this wanting to protect the image of ourselves as being [00:06:00] more further along or more established than we're, I think that ego gets quite sneaky because it's not necessarily a villain in the piece.
Your ego is really trying to protect you. It's a false protection. It's actually holding you back. It's a cage. Like I say, it's a cage. So your ego is saying, don't let them see you. Take the small steps. Don't let anyone see that. Don't show something that might not work. Make sure you've got it all figured out first.
Then share it. You know, never admit you're still working something out. And so then what happens is that instead of launching that offer that we really believe in, that we just know in our heart would help our people instead of just getting on with it and putting it out there and testing the water and trying, we stole.
Because [00:07:00] we start second guessing and we're saying, but what if no one buys it or what if no one shows any interest? Wouldn't that be so embarrassing? What if I did this fanfare of saying, I've got this fabulous thing, this new thing coming, and then no one liked it? Or what if even worse? I've heard this so many times.
What if even worse? What if one person bought it and then that one person sees the kind of, it's like the emperor's new clothes. They, you know, they maybe realize that I didn't have this massive waiting list of people waiting to join. Right. And so we don't do the thing, we hold it back from the people who need it because of the fear.
It won't be as successful as our ego wants it to be. We do this with our messaging. We do this all the time with. Like this one. You know, I think that so many people, instead of saying what they really wanna say, they're gonna keep self [00:08:00] editing. Because what if it's not received well, what if I misunderstood?
What if I offend someone? What if I say something that's a little controversial? And what if some people don't like me anymore? Right? And our ego won't let us take that risk. So we stay more generic, we stay very acceptable, palatable to the majority, and then what happens? We become less visible. So instead of building the thing we call, feel called to build or saying the truth of our own message, our true thought leadership, instead of sharing that we wait.
We wait until the thing we're building looks ready enough for our ego to sanction it. We wait until our message is. Already universally accepted and therefore by now pretty generic until we share it. [00:09:00] It's not just procrastination, honestly, this is ego protection, but that is costing you, it's honestly costing you.
It costs your momentum in your business in terms of growing. It's costing you true connection. If you can fight this in your business, if you can fight the embarrassment around starting something before you're ready, if you can fight the discomfort around having to reveal that, maybe you don't have it all figured out yet.
But it's good enough to share because you truly believe in it and you believe that it could help someone, then honestly, that is what's gonna bring you connection. That is what people are gonna resonate with. People are gonna appreciate, and can I tell you what that is? That is true Creativity. True creativity doesn't need perfection.
It really doesn't need to be a finished [00:10:00] article. When you are in creative mode, you are happy to keep iterating. You are happy to keep sculpting that finished product until it's as good as you can get it, but you don't need to wait until then to share it. In fact, part of the creative process can be sharing and getting feedback and, and understanding what people love and what they don't love, what they want and what they don't want.
Right. When you are trying to maintain an image or the image that you want other people to see of you the way you want to be perceived by other people, when you are trying to stage, manage all of that, right? It, that's a performance. You are not letting people see the truth of you, the whole of you. So the shift I wanna offer you in this episode is what if.
Relatability matters much more than that appearance of being [00:11:00] established. What if that's where the true success lies like it has been for me, I promise you that what if your people don't need you to look complete? They don't need you to look finished and polished. They actually need you to see them.
They need to feel that. They need to feel that you get it. That's much more important to them. They need to feel that you are walking the path with them, not looking down on them from above. And that connection, that level of connection that comes from being present, not worrying so much about your image, your ego, how you are coming across.
It comes from true presence, honesty, courage. It means that you are showing up in the season you are in, not pretending you're in a different one, [00:12:00] a season that's further ahead, that's waiting for you, but you are not in yet. Right? Could you let people witness your growth? Could you do that? Are you willing?
Let people witness your growth. Are you willing to share offers before you've over perfected them into oblivion? Are you willing to do that? Because honestly, that's what I believe it takes to build a sustainable business. Now 2025, you have to forge deeper connection with your clients than you've ever had to before.
And your ego can stop you from doing that if you are not careful. If you are starting again with something, if you are listening to this, and maybe you are starting over, I know a lot of people who listen to me are people who have had a career. You know, maybe they're in corporate and they're, they're starting again by really [00:13:00] going after the thing that they've always wanted to do in the first place.
Or maybe you're starting late in your opinion, or maybe you're starting small, right? This beginning phase. Isn't something to hide. It's brave. It's brave to try something different, and it's brave to show up without having every piece polished to perfection. And if you are established in business, but you wanna try something new, but you are holding yourself back from sharing it, from talking about it, from asking your clients what they think about a change you are thinking about.
That's ego. That's ego. Not wanting them to perceive you as not having everything figured out and you don't need that. You can put that down. If you are someone that knows at a soul level that you've been holding back because you're kind of scared that you'll be [00:14:00] found out as not yet being at the top of the mountain, this is your sign to stop performing and start connecting.
Business by letting it grow in the light, not behind the closed doors. It's a brave thing to do, and I do get that. It can feel uncomfortable. It can be uncomfortable to let your work evolve in public, but it can also be incredibly liberating and it can absolutely be the key to success. Ego can hold you back like.
Nothing else because you are almost in a lose lose situation with your ego. Your ego demands a higher and higher standard from you because it wants to keep you feeling safe. It's comfortable. It's comfortable not being vulnerable. It's comfortable not sharing the imperfect. [00:15:00] Honestly, if you let your work evolve, if you let it be really true, if you are honest and transparent about your journey, you'll forge deeper connections.
You'll attract the right people into your world and everything will change for you. I will. It's the secret. It's the key. As always, I've got three journaling prompts for you to work on this week. The first one is, where in my business am I holding back out? Fear of being seen mid journey. Where in my business am I holding back from a fear of being seen midjourney.
The second prompt is what is my ego trying to protect me from and what might I be missing by staying safe? And the third prompt is, what would I share or create if I didn't [00:16:00] need to look ready? If I only needed to be real, what would I share or create? I would love, love, love. As always, once you've had a go with those journaling prompts, I'd love you to email me, lemme know what comes up for you.
Email me at [email protected]. We'll put the link in the show notes or connect with me on Instagram, which is where I'm sort of hanging out a little bit more at the moment. @gillmoakes If this episode resonated with you, would you consider leaving me a five star review on Apple Podcast? It really makes a massive difference to podcasters.
Honestly, you would not believe the difference it makes to the download numbers, and therefore the reach of the podcast whenever someone does leave me a review, so I'd be so grateful. And until next time, I just wanna leave you with this, which is a line that I have written. So I'm deep in [00:17:00] writing phase of my book at the moment, and I wanna share this, this line with you.
Don't let your ego build a business that your soul doesn't recognize. I hope that resonates. Think it'll, I know it'll with some of you. Don't let your ego build a business your soul doesn't recognize. Okay. Right everyone. I hope you've enjoyed this episode and I will see you again back here. Same place, same time next week.
Bye for now.
