e180 How to Tell the Truth in Your Marketing and the Courage it Takes to Bring All of Yourself to Your Business
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[00:00:00] Welcome, welcome to Rewild Your Business. I'm your host, Gill Moakes. I'm so happy you're here with me this week. This is an episode that I've been really excited to record since we had our workshop the other week called All of You, which was all about bringing the whole of who you business, and it was a really powerful workshop.
Questions I was asked afterwards actually gave me so much food for thought to add to that and to produce this podcast episode, which is all about telling the truth in your marketing and how do we find that courage to tell the truth when. We also have to navigate the complexities around, well, if I tell the truth about where I am on my journey or the things I'm struggling with, or that I, maybe I don't have [00:01:00] everything figured out, is that gonna cost me my credibility?
That was a big question that came up, and I think that is something that plays on a lot of people's minds. So that is what we're talking about this week. Oh, dive straight in there, didn't I? Let's take a breath. Let's take a moment before we actually do dive in. I hope you're having a good week here. We're in October.
Can you believe if you're one of those people who doesn't live particularly by the seasons, then maybe you think of this as the beginning of the last quarter of the year, the fourth quarter. I tend to think in season, so for me, we're in the middle of my favorite season, which is Autumn, and I absolutely.
Bloody love it. Autumn has me feeling very energized. I'm feeling very creative. Actually at the moment I've just been writing. I've just been actually creating some social media content, which is very sporadic. If anyone follows me, you'll know that I [00:02:00] am not someone who necessarily always practices what they preach around consistency.
Although actually I am because I'm the first one to say that. Yeah, I'd much rather have quality over consistency. So yeah, if you follow me for a while, you'll know that my own social media press can be a little sporadic at times. I'm perfectly okay with that though. I'm not a slave to the algorithm. But I have been feeling very creative, and I think that is what Autumn Energy is like for me, because I know what's coming.
I know that round the corner as we go into winter, I'll go into my hibernation mode where I'm gonna be wanting to snuggle up. I'm not gonna be as energized as I'm at the moment, and that's okay too. One of the beautiful things about surrendering to working by the seasons. You have to sustain a particular level of energy and productivity through the year, and I love that.[00:03:00]
Anyway, that is not the topic of today's podcast. Today's topic is all about bringing your most honest self to your marketing and what that will do for you. Okay, let's dive in. Welcome to rewild Your Business, the podcast for women doing the work, their soul intended. I'm Gill Moakes. I'm an international business coach and I'm a guide for women doing the work that matters.
Rewilding your business means cutting away what doesn't belong to allow, what does to thrive. Finding simplicity in your work, and it's about bringing the whole of who you are to the table, whether you are building something new or finding your way back to what really matters to you. I'm so glad you're here this episode.
Honestly, if for anyone out there. Who has ever done this, right? And I'm sure this is gonna be everyone. When you've hit [00:04:00] post on something, I dunno, it's either gonna be like a blog post or maybe it's a social media post, whatever it's, or a reply to someone else's social media post or whatever. And then you have that immediate got feeling of, oh my God, I want to delete that because that feels a little bit too out there, a bit too honest.
This episode is for you because I want you to understand that that feeling is perfectly okay, and actually chances are, if you are getting that feeling, that is the one piece of content that you could put out that week or that month or that year, that is actually gonna create meaningful connection with the person who's consuming it.
That feeling that you're getting is an indicator. It's a marker that you have. Just put something out there that is honest and is gonna absolutely resonate. [00:05:00] With your people. Now, the implication and consequence of that of course, is that if it's someone who's not aligned with you and with your values and the way you think about the world, they might hate that piece of content.
They might really not like it, and they might feel like they wanna tell you that that's okay. They're not your people. It's okay for them to think that. So. I wanna talk about how bloody liberating and at the same time, terrifying it can be. Just to bring this level of honesty into our marketing, and especially if you are quite early on in your business building journey because.
When you are quite new to creating content and hitting that publish or hitting that button, until you've worked that muscle for a while, it can really feel so scary and it's almost [00:06:00] like you wanna trim. Ends. So you don't want anything that's too outspoken. You're not gonna put anything like that out there.
You're not gonna put anything too vulnerable because you wanna be seen as credible. And what happens is you keep trimming these edges at both ends and you end up with something that is so bland, so generic. Anyone could have written it. Anyone could have put it out there. Chat GT's Greatest hits, right?
You have this feeling that you've gotta project out this very polished, I've got myself together version just to be taken seriously. But the problem is that when we do that, what we lose by trying to look credible in a way that isn't necessarily a 100% honest reflection of where we are in our journey, we end up editing out.
The bits that would make our message really powerful [00:07:00] and would actually have it resonate with the people we want it to resonate with. So I wanna talk a little bit about this fear of being too vulnerable or not credible enough. And I think there's a few ways that this shows up for us. Often it'll be where we hide parts of our own story, the parts that might feel a little a bit messy, or the parts that aren't really finished.
You know, the parts where we're still on the journey. We'll have this pool to hide those parts of ourselves, and we do that by kind of telling half the story. And skirting around the bits that don't fit the polished persona that we're trying to put out. We also tend to water down any of our strong opinions, and we do that because we want to be likable by everybody.
It's too scary to put something out [00:08:00] there that could polarize opinion and have some people turn around and say, God, Gill, you know what? I really did not like that podcast episode you put out. That, put my back up. I'm not a big fan of that. Right. I understand because when I first started this podcast, if you go back over some of those early episodes, there isn't much polarizing content in there.
There's not a lot of kind of disruptive opinions where I'm sharing something that I really believe in or really feel very strongly about. There's not a ton of that in the early days of this podcast, and that's for exactly this reason. One, I felt like I wasn't experienced enough or established enough in my own journey to put a strong opinion out there.
And the second reason was I really wanted everyone to like me. It was really important to me that people like me, but it was also really [00:09:00] important to me to protect myself from the uncomfortable feeling of someone sharing something negative with me. Who wants to hear bad feedback? Who wants to hear someone say they don't like?
Staying so safe of using really safe language all the time, instead of saying what we really mean of trimming our story to make sure that we don't come across as unfinished or unpolished. The consequence of all of that is that we don't really resonate with anyone. We don't really grab the attention of anyone and we don't give the people who would hear what we have to say and say, oh my God, thank God someone at last actually gets me.
You are never gonna create that feeling in someone if [00:10:00] you stay so safe all the time. And what I've noticed. Is that there's this contradiction. We all say that we want a business that feels good. We want a business that feels authentic. So many people will claim that one of their values is authenticity.
There's a reason that that word authenticity has been used to death. It's because it's very aspirational. We wanna be authentic. We understand on a human level that that is a good thing. But the problem is if we don't act, if we don't show up in our business as our true 100% honest, authentic selves, then we cannot be surprised when our business doesn't feel.
When it doesn't feel comfortable and when content doesn't flow easily, because that's another thing I'll guarantee [00:11:00] you. If you are struggling to create content, it's probably because you are self editing, because the minute you stop editing yourself and allow it to flow, allow your actual thoughts and opinions to come out.
Oh my God, seriously? You're barely gonna need chat GT anymore, promise you. That's when the words will flow. It's when you are trying to sound a certain way or when you are trying to stay safe and likable, that's when you struggle. That's when you're really looking outside of yourself to try and find the words that work.
So I think there's a definite paradigm shift that we need to make here because. One thing that we kind of accept as a truth is that credibility comes from having it all figured out, and I would challenge that. I'm not sure that that is what makes us credible. I think as [00:12:00] coaches, what makes us credible is our humanity.
It's our ability to empathize. It's our ability. To our potential clients, our ability.
Struggling with these two kind of contradictions. If I'm too honest, I'm gonna look unprofessional, and if I'm too polished, I'm gonna sound fake. Can you see how you're almost chucking credibility up in the air like a hot potato, whereas real credibility. Absolutely comes from that resonance. It doesn't come from perfection.
It doesn't come from having everything figured out from being polished and all of those things. So we need to ask ourselves, when did we start believing that, being real, being real and honest and open and transparent? When did that make us less credible? That is a [00:13:00] story, and it isn't true. It's not a true story.
There's a fiction. I wanna just talk for a moment about what happens when we change this. What happens when we start speaking the truth, our truth, and I think this is one of the most fundamental things that I teach inside the Coaching Business Academy. As we get towards the end of the academy and we're talking about how to make sales, how to actually enroll clients, one of the biggest lessons that I teach is around how as coaches, we don't need to persuade or convince anyone of anything, but we have to connect.
We have to attract the people who really feel us. It's not just about people following us. They need to be able to feel and connect with us, right? So that is the first thing that changes when we start [00:14:00] connecting because we're speaking the truth. You automatically will drop that need to convince someone of something.
It's so much easier to allow your truth to speak up, to speak strongly, and you'll find it much easier then. Get pulled into trying to persuade someone to work with you because you are absolutely understanding what it really means to form a connection with someone so that they make the right decision for themselves.
The second thing that happens, I've touched on this just now, is that your content becomes easier and easier to create. It absolutely flows. And then the third thing. And this is honestly true, your energy becomes way more magnetic. There is something about someone who is standing in their truth, who [00:15:00] knows what they stand for, who knows.
What is and isn't acceptable for them. There is something about someone who will always speak the truth even when it's uncomfortable. There is something about that energy that absolutely attracts people to you. This has been my experience really through my whole business building journey. One thing has been incredibly consistent, and that is that the more I have lent into the whole of who I am and allowed.
All of me to the table sharing about the times when I feel like I'm flimflamming between things or the times when I change my mind about something and how that makes me feel, you know, sharing about the times when I haven't been consistent and I've dropped the ball on something. A lot of those things are why people relate to me.
Maybe that's one of the [00:16:00] reasons that you listen to this podcast because you know that you can rely on me to tell you the truth about what I genuinely believe works to build our businesses. You know, you can trust me to only share with you the things that I know to work. You know, you can trust me to not pretend I know about something I dunno about.
So can you see how that is magnetic to people? So how do we do it? How do we show up with that level of authenticity, with that level of courage to speak our truth? How do we do that? Well, I think. The first thing is knowing what is yours to share. So I touched on this just now. This is about getting very clear on what you want to share and what you don't.
Because the truth doesn't mean oversharing, [00:17:00] it just means aligning your message, what you say with what you actually believe in, right? So this isn't about you forcing yourself to air every single piece of dirty laundry in public. This isn't about that at all. This is about getting very clear on what is yours to share, why you are sharing it.
In other words, how is this in service of those that I want to serve? I also think that when it comes to talking about something that's uncomfortable, it takes courage, and I get that. So the moment before you post something that feels a little bit vulnerable, that moment is always the hardest. It's like, it's like you're about to cross over the truth threshold.
So I want you to think about, you know, how can you cross that threshold gently. Maybe you don't go from having been in a place where you've been posting very polished content to suddenly just like throwing out the rule. But com posting [00:18:00] absolutely anything and everything, you know, I do stand by my advice, which is about sharing the scars, not the scabs.
You know, I think there's a, a fine line between posting content that. But still has a lesson in it. For those that you're serving, those who are following you, you know, there still does need to be something in it for them rather than just you kind of spilling everything out because maybe it's feeling like a release for you.
That's not the goal here. When you're creating content. I think practicing with like one honest sentence at a time can be a really potent way of just changing the way that you share. So in other words, you're not sharing necessarily different kinds of content to begin with, but you're maybe sharing a different angle, a more [00:19:00] courageous angle than the one perhaps you would've shared in the beginning.
So that's how you can practice this. So acknowledging that that moment before you post is gonna feel hard. It's gonna feel like a little bit, ooh, take a deep breath, but do it in a way that feels manageable, that you can work like a muscle, one sentence at a time. Right? And I think it's really important that we tell the truth and we share strong opinions with compassion.
So I think we've probably all had an experience of people who perhaps choose to go much more for the shock value or the burning bridges kind of content. Personally, I don't love that anymore than I love generic, boring content, right? I find that just as disingenuous. Creating shocking content for the sake of it.
I don't [00:20:00] believe that that is what creates connection any more than the generic content. This is about really creating resonance, not by being super rebellious, just for the sake of being super rebellious and disruptive, right? So I think when you communicate. Kindness and compassion rather than defensiveness.
It actually lands far more strongly with your audience. That's not to say there isn't a place for anger. If something has made you angry, it's okay to communicate that anger, but I think. Strong content, really connecting content that is gonna do its job in terms of attracting the right people to you.
That comes from a place of compassion, from a place of thoughtfulness, from a place of real intention. And that's what's important. It's the intention behind the [00:21:00] way you are communicating. That's what determines whether this content is gonna land or not. Okay, so I really hope this episode has been helpful in terms of coming to terms with the fact that putting out generic sound, the same AI generated content.
Gonna land, resonate and connect and therefore attract your ideal clients. So if you are someone who is wondering why you are posting consistently, but you are not seeing any tangible results from your marketing, it's probably because you are putting content out there, but you're not actually forging connection with the people that you wanna be serving.
Right? This is something you can practice. This is, in fact, truth telling in general is a practice. It's not a [00:22:00] one-time thing that you do and, oh, that's it. I've nailed it. It definitely hasn't been like that for me. Definitely not. Oh my God. I have to remind myself actually how nerve wracking because I don't find it that nerveracking now to put out something even pretty disruptive.
I don't find it nerveracking now. I think I'm very. Much less attached or bothered about the opinions of the people that I'm not here to serve. Their opinions don't really matter to me now, but it hasn't always been like that. And I do have to remind myself that, yeah, it, this is something that takes practice.
It takes doing it over and over and each time pushing that boundary of your comfort zone. That little bit further, I would suggest that. An exercise that would be really useful to do this week is take a look at the last two or three pieces of content that you created and be really honest with [00:23:00] yourself.
Ask yourself, does this really sound like me? If I were reading this into a microphone like Jill is right now, why am I speaking about myself in the third person? Not really sure, but if I was reading this out into a microphone now. Would it sound like the way I would talk? Would I say this to someone if I was having coffee with them?
And if the answer to that is no, this is language I would never use, it's stuff that I wouldn't ever really say and, and maybe it's a half truth, then I wouldn't ask you something else. What truth are you avoiding? You are scared. It might make you look less credible. I, in fact, that is the only journaling prompt I'm gonna give you this week because I think this is a massively important one.
What truth are you avoiding because you are scared it might make you look less credible. And then once [00:24:00] you've had a really good journal around that. I would invite you to have any little experiment. Experiment with one really brave, honest post this week. Doesn't have to be huge. Does not have to be like something life changing.
It could be something small, but really true. Really true to what you believe in, right? Because you don't have to burn everything down to start telling the truth. You've really got to stop hiding behind like this version of you that you think is acceptable or you think is the version best place to grow a business.
Because I will guarantee that the version of you that is best placed to grow your business is the whole version of you. I know that to be true, I promise you. Okay. I hope this has really helped and. As always, email me [email protected] if [00:25:00] anything's come up for you and you feel like sharing it with me because I love getting your emails, I absolutely bloody love it.
Before I go, I wanna you really this workshop. So we had all of you, which was fantastic. Loved it, had amazing feedback. I'll share some feedback actually around that workshop because I'm sure that's one that we'll repeat at some point. But this month's workshop is on the 28th of October, and our topic this month is relationships over algorithms.
So, kind of really follows on nicely from this podcast episode because relationships start with connection, right? We don't get to build a relationship with someone until we have found a connection or forged a connection with them. And for me. Relationship marketing will always trump any other form of marketing.
I don't care whether that [00:26:00] is social media marketing, email marketing, paid advertising, whatever other kinds of marketing that you are tinkering with in your business. Relationship marketing is the one for coaches that will make the biggest difference. So in this workshop, I am gonna teach you. I believe to be true about relationship marketing, I'm gonna teach you what I believe is the best way to grow your business, leveraging the relationships.
I'm gonna teach you about the three kinds of people that you should be growing your network with. Yeah, and I'm gonna teach you how to do it. So if that sounds like something you wanna come along for the ride with, you can go to the link in the show notes. It's available on my website, gillmoakes.com. If you go there and look at monthly workshops, you'll be able to get all the information there.
But like I say, I'll put the specific link to this workshop into the show notes. I'd love you to join me. These are [00:27:00] really intimate. Workshops, they're interactive. You get to ask me all of the questions that you want me to answer. You get to learn from me. And then also for seven days after the workshop, I open a popup WhatsApp group where you get to carry on asking questions.
And I will tend put voice notes into reply. I'm in there every day and yeah, we get to carry on the conversation. So if that sounds like something that would be a good next move for you.
Sign. You've enjoyed this episode. I've enjoyed you here. Same time, same. Bye for now.
